After disappearing for a long time, I should also talk about what I have recently experienced. After indulging in pleasure for more than half of the winter break, I finally had to face reality. I thought everything was simple: go to my mother to apply for a leave of absence, then try to work part-time at a milk tea shop. But I fell flat on my face from the very first step. Because I spent most of the holiday indulging, I also thought that taking a leave of absence was no big deal, and it shouldn’t have been necessary to suspend studies; I should have pursued self-study (if I wanted to get a graduation certificate). However, I was self-righteous, thinking that since everything was just a suspension, it didn’t matter, and the idea of taking a leave was also suggested by my university teacher’s aunt to my mom (she hoped I could keep my student status as a backup). My mother also believed the nonsense from the homeroom teacher, who said there was no need for a medical certificate to take a leave. I didn’t pay much attention to this, so I went to the school to apply for a leave of absence like a soldier without helmet or rifle. The person in charge of managing the leave was a young male leader. His speech was so arrogant that even a thug would think he was the boss. He came up and shouted loudly to scare me. When he couldn’t scare me, he talked down to me with “big principles,” first saying that unfilial people are destined to fail in life (roughly speaking), then telling a story about a student whose parents were paralyzed, who engaged in reckless speculation and finally “became successful.” I didn’t react much to his threats and bribes, but my mother felt “wronged” and cried. She thought she had taken good care of me since I was a child, but I was so ungrateful. In the end, I couldn’t do anything and said I wanted to go home and think it over. The director then saw that I was unresponsive and kept my mother in the office, telling the homeroom teacher to take me out. I don’t know what they said to her, but I was given seven days off to think at home. The next day, I went to try working at a milk tea shop, thinking that if I succeeded, I would just drop out. But because I hadn’t worked for a long time, I was slow and lacked a plan, so the boss at the milk tea shop didn’t want me anymore. The successive failures discouraged me, and I returned to my previous indulgent lifestyle—playing games more wildly and watching adult content, escaping reality in “Minecraft.” Not asking for my probation wages was also a sign of my cowardice. The seven-day holiday ended quickly, and I had to go back to the Zixue Academy. I spent almost every morning sleeping through the first few classes, then reading books at noon, afternoon, and evening. I read very quickly, nearly half of “Women and Socialism” in four days. Life at school soon made me feel oppressed again. I increasingly realized that practice determines thought. I started participating in a reading club again, stopped masturbating and watching adult content, and everything began to improve. But I no longer wanted to waste time at Zixue Academy; I wanted to drop out and work. First, I believe that nothing meaningful can be achieved at Zixue Academy. Second, many of my comrades also think that a high school diploma isn’t that important, and I don’t need to stay for another semester or two just to get a “quarantine pass.” Third, I believe that if I want to revolutionize, I must not leave myself a way out, because that’s not a way out—it’s a backward step back into decay and corruption. One reason I failed in my previous try at work was that I always thought I could just go home and find another job if I couldn’t pass the trial period. I always believed I had a backup. But do the proletariat really have a backup? For them, unemployment is like falling into an abyss. I should also summon the courage to burn my bridges, cut off my retreat, and truly embrace the revolution and the proletariat. I’ve decided to try to recover the construction fee this weekend, and also see if I can find a job. Then I will fight with my parents and strive to drop out. That’s all for now. If there’s anything wrong or if you have suggestions, I hope comrades can point them out to me.
Is Hong Qing communicating with everyone at People’s Square? My personal opinion is that we should struggle and self-study to obtain the diploma. It is indeed “quarantine clearance,” but having the certificate makes it basically smooth sailing to work in factories or the service industry, making it easier to find a job; moreover, the scope of work expands, which is beneficial for engaging with the masses and promoting Marxism through labor.
I’m also struggling with this issue now, and I don’t know if I can have both fish and bear’s paw, but staying at the Zixue Academy for another one or two semesters would indeed be a waste of time.
I remember Hong Qing was already over 16, so it’s best to go participate in labor as soon as possible, to transform worldviews through practice; and the Zhi Xuefu (Resource Academy) has no right to refuse your self-study, and you can obtain a graduation certificate.
But what should I do to self-study? I definitely want to go through labor reform now, but that leader definitely won’t let me go easily. I want to ask my comrades if anyone has any experience.
I am also preparing for self-study in the struggle. Based on your situation, it seems that you were not firm in your struggle and ultimately gave up. My advice is to absolutely stop indulging in pleasures now, quickly find a job during this period, and get ready. When dealing with procedures, insist strongly; if they give you a fake, do not give in easily. Finally, force Lao Jiu and your mother to complete the procedures. During this time, Hong Qing should communicate more about their thoughts and feelings, so that the struggle does not fail again due to ideological issues.
What does it mean to strain or push hard against something
Just insist on self-learning, and don’t be led by the Ninth or parents.
I remember saying that passing the high school exam seems to be enough to get the graduation certificate.
Here’s the situation: I failed an English course, and our school, whether it’s a unilateral rule by the school or something common here, seems to say that if volunteer hours are less than 40 hours, no graduation certificate will be issued (it’s like doing a formalistic volunteer activity; rather than being a volunteer activity, it’s more like adding chaos).
What volunteer hours? Do any of you students actually do this? I guess the school just does it casually, hoping you’ll pass, and if you do, they let it go.
Any thoughts on reading? Also, what exactly did you experience as oppression here? What ideas did it generate? It feels a bit unclear.
I have not had much understanding of the oppression women have suffered in the past. Only now do I have a slight awareness of the heavy shackles women have borne over these thousands of years, and I have also gained some new perspectives on gender relations. As for oppression, besides the suffocating routines, I feel more the oppression exerted by schools on other students. For example, the homeroom teacher, just because two female classmates talked back to each other, flew into a rage and spouted a bunch of nonsense. Moreover, he thought it was very barbaric and unreasonable that the school not only controls students’ romantic relationships but also intervenes even if a student’s nails grow a little longer.
So, what are your thoughts on these oppressions? How do they relate to you personally?
In fact, looking at the news can also reveal some emotional materials about how women are oppressed (although the Chinese revisionist media will still release a bunch of news that distorts the truth, uses biased language, and attacks and slanders women), such as a 17-year-old woman who was gang-raped, beaten, buried alive, and died, and only one person was arrested, and the case was hastily closed; there was also an incident during the New Year where a woman wanted to visit her parents’ house, her husband agreed, and she felt very grateful, believing that no matter what happens in the marriage afterward, she would forgive her husband because of that day. Various forms of oppression, slander, enslavement, and corruption of women are emerging one after another.
What’s going on with Hong and Qing now, since you’re not showing up again?