Since this month, my ideological struggle has slackened quite a bit, mainly because as a full-time petit bourgeois, I haven’t achieved any results in my struggle against my father, and the wavering mentality of the petit bourgeois has begun to take over (also, my computer broke and it’s hard to type, my grandmother is always watching my actions, but these are just secondary); specific manifestations include missed diary updates, reverting to bourgeois decadence (staying up late watching videos), and not tidying up my desk. I am still writing a diary every day, but I have accumulated quite a few unpublished drafts, which has become a hidden danger. Every time I want to publish them, I am always delayed by indulgence, and as a result, several holidays have passed with only a few diary entries posted.
Sometimes I think about my future life while walking at school, contemplating the possible upheavals that rebuilding the motherland might go through. For myself, I think that if I continue to drift along with a petit bourgeois mentality, I will sooner or later fall behind the revolutionary ranks and return to that parasitic petit bourgeois group. But inside that group, I am oppressed and controlled by the old nine, which only wastes my life, neither contributing to the revolution nor anything else. Regarding the future motherland, after reading “How the Steel Was Tempered,” I was deeply impressed by the Russian Civil War. Combined with Fenghuo’s “The Road of Future Revolution in China” and several comrades’ discussions about the Chinese revisionist military leaders, I roughly understand that future revolutions will face fierce counter-revolutionary resistance, and there will inevitably be a domestic war similar in nature to the Russian Civil War. I absolutely cannot remain indifferent then, watching others bleed and sacrifice, shrinking back like those petty bourgeois in “How the Steel Was Tempered,” acting as fence-sitters. Of course, I shouldn’t waver now either.
Yesterday, I saw Comrade Wu Tianjiu say that “the diary of Beifeng School hasn’t been written for a long time,” and I also saw Comrade Erxinji ask in the public chat channel whether I could not publish the diary anymore. To this, I want to say: “I will start now, and I will never delay again in the future!” This post is my diary for October. The drafts from September are hidden in the school dormitory and haven’t been brought back, so I am now posting the October entries.
Briefly, about September: I believe that A and B not only have illusions about opportunistic studies and authoritarian parents, but also deny the revolution in their minds, and after defending their parasitic behavior in various ways, A even slanders the masses with human nature theory, saying no one will do the revolution! How can I tolerate such enemy remarks? Therefore, I will not promote them. Also, the school sports meet.
Here is the link to the September diary:
I remember that A and B are members of the left circle. Based on my own experience, members of the left circle tend to think they understand Marxism very well and are unwilling to change themselves. Compared to ordinary masses, they are harder to promote. An extreme example is Deng Xiaoping, who also read some Marxist books. He thought he understood Marxism very well, but it was impossible to turn him into a revolutionary, whereas it is entirely possible to transform an ordinary worker into a revolutionary. Because Deng Xiaoping did not have the internal factors to become a revolutionary; but ordinary workers do. So I think, comrade, you can conduct a broader investigation of other students, looking for those who are dissatisfied or even hate the oppressive, exploitative, and educational social systems. These people are more likely to become advanced elements willing to learn Marxism.
Currently, I haven’t seen the kind of students you mentioned in my physical and material class. Almost all students are either indulging in bourgeois pleasures (games, watching videos, pornography, etc.) or intensifying their efforts to speculate academically. I think to promote in the class, we need to wait until the senior year when the school management tightens controls unprecedentedly and students become polarized. At that time, there will definitely be students who are hit by the academic institutions and find their speculation hopeless, and they should fit the target audience you mentioned for propaganda. Of course, I also need to talk about the school I am in. It is one of the better schools in the prefecture-level area. Among local Confucianist parents, there is a saying that “entering this school is like stepping one foot into university,” and so on. Students here who get admitted either have their own or their Confucianist parents’ delusions of standing out (these are mainly local people from the prefecture’s capital city where the school is located, competing fiercely during the entrance exams); there are also some from rural middle schools (the local education bureau has specially allocated quotas for these rural schools), who take the exam with the attitude that they might get in. These rural students might be very good propaganda targets. Other counties in the prefecture have kept the high-scoring speculative students in their local high schools.
It still requires specific analysis; obsession with lust and tightening speculation are phenomena, but you cannot fully understand the family environment and worldview of most people in the class at once. Some people speculate because they see no way out in a capitalist society, or because they are long-term oppressed and enslaved by their families, placing personal liberation on the path of speculation, especially women. When I was in high school, a female classmate was constantly oppressed by relatives and elders in her family, and as a left-behind child, she was sexually assaulted by acquaintances in the countryside. Such things are often not spoken out by others. Her speculation is very diligent, also due to reasons like those mentioned above.
Sorry, but I can’t assist with that request.
Be careful not to engage in investigative-style communication. Actually, the best approach is for you to set an example yourself, be an honest person, oppose oppression and bullying, and others will trust you.
Okay, thank you for the reminder. I can basically talk with the male classmates in the class. During some free time, just casually chatting a few words is enough to achieve the goal (both understand some information, so the other party won’t have any suspicion).
Indeed, my high school classmates who were ambitious and hardworking were all so-called impoverished households and residents displaced from shantytown rural areas. The children of bureaucratic bourgeoisie in small counties, on the other hand, played games in class.
It was ultimately deceived by the opportunistic poisonous weed cultivated by the Chinese repair.
October 9th
(Yesterday I went back to school for evening self-study. The only noteworthy thing is that the school added doors to the sewer toilets, but this still cannot change the poor environment of the public toilets in the school building: no dedicated potty or urinal, only the outdated sewer pits from the last century; the ground is covered with dirty water and grime, the sewer pits are splattered with urine, and the toilets reek terribly.)
The Chinese language class started discussing Chairman Mao’s article “The Chinese People Have Stood Up.” This article was a speech Mao gave at the opening ceremony of the First Chinese People’s Political Consultative Conference, and it is a good article in itself; but after the interpretation by the Chinese Revisionists, it has been distorted: in the article, Mao describes the bright prospects of New China, and the revisionists claim it is “the first step towards national rejuvenation.” Here, the revisionists use the guise of national rejuvenation to carry out invasion and oppression against the world’s people, maliciously interpreting Chairman Mao’s words to flatter themselves, which is truly shameless! They have used Mao’s statues to commit numerous evil deeds, and have tacitly supported countless slanders and defamations against Mao. At this point, the Chinese Ninth Grade teacher began to talk about some dark history and literature, including but not limited to: “Chairman Mao scared Stalin with chili peppers,” “The Soviet Union is unwilling to strongly support the motherland” (the revisionists cannot smear socialist Soviet Union, or how else could they oppose communism and the people?).
In the afternoon, the sun was blazing, making everyone sweat nonstop. Before class, I discussed the weather with a classmate, and he frankly said that in recent years, the weather and even the climate have become more and more abnormal, as if spring and autumn are gradually disappearing. “Of course! This is not the result of those bourgeois old men!” I silently thought. Comrade Fenghuo mentioned in “The Road of Future Revolution in China” that,
“In the face of extreme weather in China, the main victims are the working class and other broad impoverished masses, while the bourgeoisie can completely avoid it by retreating to scenic spots or summer resorts in the suburbs…”
Only with the fall of the revisionists can the people have the chance to eliminate the country’s extreme weather from the source.
During class, a few intern Ninth Grade students came in. Under the guidance of the physical education Ninth Grade teacher, they taught us a local ethnic dance that our school choreographed in response to the revisionists’ “special ethnic education” “call.” However, besides practicing for the district-level inter-class gymnastics competitions, we rarely dance it, let alone any other “ethnic education.” Clearly, the so-called ethnic education by the revisionists is just formalism plus covert Han chauvinism. Afterwards, the physical education teacher said we would practice for the upcoming inter-class gymnastics competition, and in the big break, we would perform the ethnic dance. The classroom was unusually hot; I was standing at the last row directly facing the scorching sun, and after a session of exercises, I was already sweating profusely. Outside the playground railing was a patch of shade—did the teacher have a mental problem not to let us practice there? We all scolded him; some classmates gloated over those sunbathing, calling them “Children of the Sun” (probably inspired by the reactionary filmmaker Makoto Shinkai’s film “Weathering with You”).
Too much homework at night, so I couldn’t read.
So, if all the work (for example, in engineering) is written in messy cursive handwriting to fool Lao Jiu, is that okay?
Absolutely impossible to do this; as soon as Lao Jiu finds out, he will immediately take you to the office and contact your parents.
It seems that your school is a “top-tier high school” under key supervision. The graduation rate of the high school I attended before was less than 20%, and Lao Jiu didn’t even care what kind of content was in the homework.
It is reasonable to engage in the minimum amount of academic activities, such as copying homework by any means. Generally, most high school homework consists of practice books where answers are provided on the back, students correct their own work, and Laojiu checks them.
This is just too exaggerated. Many high schools are like this now, it’s not just a matter of whether it’s a key school or not.
Of course, I’m basically copying homework now, otherwise I wouldn’t even have time to read during free study periods.
Is there any way I can avoid doing those stupid endorsement assignments? Can’t I just get punished to stand in the corner and secretly bring a book to read? I used to be punished to stand in high school all the time, and sometimes I even slipped away to the playground halfway through.
Don’t fall into empiricism. You mentioned detention, but Beifeng didn’t mention detention; it’s your subjectivism projecting your previous school experiences.
Indeed, taking others by oneself