As the title suggests, I am posting some of my confusions here, looking forward to everyone’s answers!
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How would everyone educate their younger brothers and sisters? My younger brother has obviously become addicted to games and the internet. I really want to pull him out of it, but he only gets angry when I try. I’m also not sure whether I should promote Marx, Lenin, Mao to him, since he’s only in sixth grade. Today, while teaching high school students, I talked about future career issues. After listening, I felt that some have already compromised with reality, while others still want to continue striving for a good job. I think neither of these options is ideal. How should I guide them?
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What specific game is he addicted to, and how is his behavior at school regarding restrictions?
Honor of Kings and 二次元 games… The school dismisses around 4:30 every day, and after school he goes to cram school to do homework. As far as I know, he doesn’t find school particularly tiring, and the pressure should be within normal levels.
I think I can help him develop some healthy hobbies, take him out more to experience social reality, and if possible, do more labor. Also, I should pay attention to his life in daily life.
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Actually, my nephew really likes me because I don’t make him study or force him to do things he doesn’t like. However, my influence on him isn’t entirely good; I used to play games with him. Later, after I became a Marxist, I tried to help him break away from gaming, instilling Marxist-Leninist ideas in him. He said he understood and agreed, but he still didn’t give up gaming.
In short, it’s important to maintain a good relationship with children, and not to use Confucian ideas to pressure them or to interact with them in a hierarchical manner. Instead, we should communicate with them on an equal footing. During this process, it’s helpful to understand their thoughts and worldview, and then to instill ideas of opposing oppression and exploitation, and being brave to struggle.
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I am not usually with him all year round, and my parents are also very tired from work, so to a large extent, they can only rely on him to grow wildly. In terms of communicating with him, I really haven’t done well; he usually doesn’t have a phone on weekdays. He told my mom that he’s very afraid of me… However, fortunately, he has recently started helping my mom with some household chores.
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You can ask him why he likes this kind of game, communicate with him more, and get closer to him before promoting, otherwise he might just see you as someone like the feudal parents of the Zixuefu Lao Jiu.
I still feel that it is necessary to communicate with them on equal terms, genuinely care about their thoughts, and then explain the correct Marxist-Leninist principles to them, rather than forcing them to do things like a Confucian patriarch. It is important to truly help them and make them feel that you can be trusted.
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Yes, I often tell my mother not to pressure him to study, but to encourage him more and have some hobbies of his own. Even if he doesn’t do well in studies, it’s better than being addicted to games! However, in the past two years, I have indeed had less communication with him. During the winter vacation, I will go back and chat more with him.
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How is your relationship with your younger brother and sister? I think overall, if you want to help your younger siblings change their lives or their destiny, without certain contact or relationship, it won’t succeed, because they might maintain a resistant or cautious attitude towards you, and won’t see you as someone they trust or as someone worth listening to. In today’s Chinese families, feudal parental authority and feudal hierarchy are quite serious; there is often a hierarchical relationship between parents and children, between the older and the younger generations. This relationship makes the younger generation less trusting of the elders. From some social reports, it can also be seen that many parents treat their children with violence or unreasonable and domineering control, which does not foster friendly communication with their children, and their connection is not deep. Some elders also educate their juniors in this way, driven by selfish motives or personal goals, which does not bring any real benefit to them. Over time, this creates a deep rift between them. Many small-bourgeois intellectuals complain about the ‘generation gap’ with their parents, which is formed in this way. Therefore, if I were to give advice, I hope you can live with your younger siblings, treat them equally, strengthen your contact with them, let them know you are their confidant, and then consider their lives and perspectives, advising them not to indulge in games anymore. As for whether to promote Marxism, I believe the basic principles of Marxism must be upheld. For the younger generation, even if some sensitive topics cannot be openly discussed, the basic principles of Marxism should still be implemented. For example, you should not promote pseudoscientific views, social Darwinism, or the idea that contemporary Chinese imperialism is good, or that they should aim to get into university and become capitalists or big bosses. Such views should not be discussed with them. If you can build a closer relationship with them through equality, they will naturally like to spend time with you. At that time, you can help them develop healthy hobbies, such as reading books together when you have free time, choosing less sensitive or more understandable books, gradually cultivating their democratic ideas and revolutionary democratic ideas, which will be beneficial for their future path in life and can bring about positive change in them.
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I feel like he now just sees me as a feudal parent… maybe because I scolded him too much before, but I still love him very much.
Yes, being trusted is important, so he is willing to confide in me.
My relationship with him has always been very good; since he was three or four years old, he has been sleeping and playing with me. However, in the past two years, I have been studying out of town and can’t take care of him anymore.
He also gradually stopped trusting me and became a bit distant.
Forgive me for saying this directly, but I think you might be a bit too self-satisfied. You don’t understand what position your younger brother truly holds in this family, or what his relationship with your parents is like. Does he often face pressure or criticism? You say you love him very much, but perhaps your actions don’t fully reflect that, so he doesn’t believe you.
It seems I need to strengthen my relationship with them first, and then gradually do some publicity. My previous idea was a bit too idealistic, I believed that they would realize on their own after reaching a certain stage.
In the family, children are often in a oppressed position. They also have many discontented feelings in their hearts, and if you are not in that position, you are very likely to completely not know what the situation is.
I think you still need to re-understand him.
Thank you for the criticism. Indeed, I haven’t analyzed his position. It seems that for a long time before, I played the role of the oppressor, blindly telling him to play less, but I didn’t seriously communicate with him.
Understood, I need to re-evaluate my approach.