I used to work for a detection company, then briefly worked at an auto parts factory, and after a period of other jobs, but because the latter job was relatively easy, it had a negative impact on my thoughts. Mainly because I didn’t think to strengthen contact with everyone on the forum, treating宣传工作 (propaganda/communication work) as something I could just do if I felt like it, so not only did I not communicate much with coworkers at work, I even dreaded ideological struggle. So even after more than half a year, I didn’t have much in-depth exchange with coworkers, and there was almost no intense struggle, very comfortable, in a free and lax environment, day after day, and I didn’t think about completing revolutionary tasks. So the association decided I should change to a service industry job to train more in interacting with people. But this still depends on my subjective initiative: whether I want to spread viewpoints to influence others. Otherwise, even in places with many people, I would still be silent due to dodging struggle, not interacting with others. I should learn from everyone’s enthusiasm for communicating with coworkers and change my own state of muddled parasitic days.
Today, during a break at the cleaning staff lounge, I sat there and overheard their conversations and glimpsed their lives. It really feels like the bourgeoisie are so evil. During the chat, a few aunties talked about looking for housing. They said rent of 1500 is too expensive; they already have little money from working, so they want something around 1000. The agent said the landlord only allows two people to live there; three people can only live secretly, and the police dogs check strictly. Then they talked about water bills being 20 a month and electricity being five yuan per kilowatt-hour, which is really gouging. Then one of the cleaning grandpas is from the 60s; at first he pulled out a pack of instant noodles. I didn’t quite understand what he meant, but then he broke the noodles in half, put them in a bowl, and heated it in a microwave. I was extremely shocked: this old man, to save money, actually used a microwave to heat dry noodles to eat. There was also talk about Falun Gong—one practitioner who claimed to cure a illness allegedly stabbed the other person with chopsticks and killed them. But I myself didn’t say much. Today I should see if there’s a possibility to交流交流 depending on the situation.
Nowadays, most elderly people who do dry cleaning are not well fed; to save money, their meals are basically leftovers, and steamed buns are eaten with salted vegetables they pickle at home. The younger generation today faces immense work pressure—car loans, house loans, children’s education, etc.—and the elderly are reluctant to spend on themselves, even to save a few dollars and ease their children’s burden. Having some work is decent, but for some of the elderly, there isn’t any work, and many end up lying beside trash bins, collecting rubbish. Open your eyes and take a look—this is what you call common prosperity.
After arriving at the shop at 4/8, I remembered I could use the ordering machine’s browser to read the news, so I took the opportunity to ask my coworkers if they read the news. But both w (16-year-old dropouts who work, now 17) and z said they don’t read. W said that when in school she used to stay late for self-study to watch the News Broadcast, then I mentioned the United States invading Iran, describing Iran’s barbarity, and then we rested from work. Later at work, I originally wanted to ask them what they thought about the education system, or more directly, whether they knew what kind of position the store manager held, but I thought a lot and didn’t ask, still feeling it would be abrupt.
In the evening I played music on the store speaker. I thought if coworkers wanted to play music themselves it would be hard to compete, and it would also be awkward to say what all of the songs were, so I suggested they listen to my playlist. Z commented that she didn’t expect I listened to such popular songs, and later they even played “The Great Mao Zedong Thought Shines Brilliant.”
After closing, the trainer (who came to the shop with me) kept bothering me by asking questions, saying I didn’t understand what others were saying. I admitted I hadn’t heard clearly. But in this shop I’ve been quite lax as well; closing shifts and other arrangements are given to coworkers, I just follow orders, which doesn’t feel very good.
I saw other coworkers making themselves milk tea, so I wanted to make some too, but I was afraid of looking awkward and weak, as if I suspected they would see it as me trying to support the capitalists’ interests. Later, when Z and I were closing, I tested the waters a bit and made a milk and takeaway, but only one cup. Earlier around nine o’clock I was quite hungry, so I made another cup, relying on toppings to fill my stomach. In the afternoon the trainer asked me to use three of my vouchers, so I let her use them. I had a feeling of not directly refusing to maintain a good relationship, even though I could have just made a milk tea freely. For some reason she didn’t do it this time.
Also today I found out that the dishwashing staff’s food seems to come back from various stalls, so they probably get it for free? So they only use the rice, but is rice not provided for free? It feels odd, and I want to ask but I’m afraid to.
Generally, regular employees wouldn’t have opinions, unless they become running dogs
Why don’t you dare to ask? The cleaning staff should be the most oppressed, people are usually very good, isn’t there anything difficult to ask.
If you don’t go to communicate with people at work to do promotion, then while you’re at work reshaping your subjective world, how do you reshape the objective world? There’s nothing abrupt about speaking up. Don’t be too cowardly; speak up when you should.
This is also an opportunity for promotion; you should explain why you listen to “red songs” and seize the chance to promote Marxism. Don’t get closed off at work.
Indeed, I didn’t expect this to generate discussion.
4/9 Because in the past two months since this store started the audit has zero issues, there was a big turnover and all new hires, even the store manager dog replaced with new, and as a result the trainer who moved here with me is leaving, so we have to relocate an old employee back, which means sending someone to the other store to swap places, and that place is where I worked before transferring to this store. But other coworkers say the distance is far, and the place I previously said I lived is between the two stores, so I was arranged by the store manager dog to go there, causing me to hesitate whether to go. That commute will add ten-odd minutes. Although those are all old employees handling lighter tasks and more familiar, it still feels like avoiding the struggle, and communicating with the new store colleagues hasn’t started yet due to my timidity, and the night shift has been pushed back by half an hour to end at 11 p.m.\nAfter starting work, the store manager dog indeed told me about transferring stores. I said I’d think about it today and reply later. During this, the dog manager gave me two bottles of milk without production dates, essentially a cost-free small favor. Later when I asked again about transferring, she said the rule of the direct-operated store is that you must obey the transfer; some people go to other stores to help for half a month. Then she said she also commutes over an hour every day to work. I said I wouldn’t accept and would have to quit, and she said that’s how it is. This feeling is really hard to handle, and I hadn’t thought of a good countermeasure.\nThen she mistakenly thought a coworker did something wrong, spoke to him, then apologized with a somewhat exaggerated attitude, and asked me to do a tasting. At first I was still quite afraid of the new product scripts and felt awkward, but later I nodded and said nothing emotionally, and then started to worry about saying too much and becoming a slave. Later the coworker asked me to deliver to nearby stores, so I had to overcome my reluctance to deal with strangers, though employees in other stores were easier to talk to, although that first store might have refused due to being busy. After lunch, I seemed to hear the cleaning staff talk about land division or something, but again felt it was not good to interrupt. They discussed pausing and I didn’t know how to start a topic, although I wanted to ask how they view Deng Dog, but I still acted like a subordinate.\nToday there were many things at work. Around six o’clock, as we were preparing to close, the dog store manager asked me to go learn the orders in front, and when z saw it, she impatiently said why not go check what’s not handled in the back kitchen. I didn’t know what I was thinking; at that time the dog manager told me to come to the front, but I only nodded and didn’t argue, and because a few days ago when we closed with z it was chaotic and I wanted z to arrange everything, which probably annoyed the other party, so this issue blew up today. I thought this would pass, but I felt z overreacted and decided I didn’t want to communicate with her in the future. Anyway, if transfer happens later I won’t interact much. Unexpectedly the dog manager came to me again after closing and said overtime after closing is unpaid, some employees want to leave as soon as possible, I should keep pace with them, so I agreed, although I thought at the time it wouldn’t go past closing time, but I was arrogant. Then unexpectedly z apologized to me saying she didn’t understand the situation and was anxious for me, which surprised me, but I still didn’t show any clear response, just said “hmm.” Then I thought that as someone living spontaneously in a capitalist society, making a mistake they apologize to others; even the dog manager does this, and I as a comrade feel inferior to these people and should be ashamed, not defend my own mistakes.\nLater, because others didn’t know why no one was leaving after six-thirty, there was no mid-shift staff, so in the end only I and z remained, and things got a bit chaotic. While working, several teas passed their expiration date, discard them. Then there was not enough milk tea, I didn’t follow the SOP and made a small portion randomly. I originally said to just remove it from shelves, but without milk tea many items can’t be made, and taking products off shelves is extremely tedious with four platforms, and we might not finish before closing. So z suggested making a small portion of milk tea; if something goes wrong, it’s on her. I said this definitely cannot be done, but asked z about her attitude toward not taking things off shelves. From a value perspective, even if you make a big batch of milk tea, as long as you sell one cup you’ve recovered the cost, so we don’t need to spare the capitalists. Although materially it would cause waste, that is also the ill consequence of unplanned capitalist production. But if today’s audit is watching, it would be zero again, and then the dog manager would be furious again.\nThere was also a point where a delivery person came to complain, saying there were no straws and the cup wasn’t full, and they requested a refund. This person looked like a peer, because in their photo they were at the front desk packing area. But I feel that thinking this way may not be right, and my dissatisfaction seems to stand from the capitalist perspective."
4/11 Workday, once arrived at the store it seemed very busy, the dog auditor might come today, so there are all sorts of忙活, the more I think the angrier I get, there’s a impulse to curse the dog auditor, then someone says to喊话术表示谢谢顾客, hearing others喊自己也要喊, then when z喊我自己跟着喊了一下, result被说声音太小, I was speechless, then I wanted to say thank you for nothing, isn’t the customer supposed to thank me? Damn dog capitalists, then z喊 again, I was in the back kitchen washing pots, then she came over to ask why I didn’t喊, she thought because the volume was low I didn’t hear, I said I didn’t know we were supposed to喊, then really wanted to say I won’t喊 capitalists will deduct my pay, so annoying, then break for meal, but in the cleaning staff resting room there was no interaction with cleaning staff, felt not knowing how to address properly, felt strangers are hard to approach, actually there is class hierarchy thinking, felt these cleaning staff are older people, I should be polite and respectful, actually it’s that Confucian-dog set of hypocritical politeness, these elderly people probably won’t like this hierarchy that harms them too.\nRegarding issues with promoting to female coworkers, thought of a bunch of questions whether it can be asked this way or that way, for example do you think society is dark now? Are you interested in politics? What do you think of the store manager position? What do you usually pay attention to? but still didn’t speak up, there is also a serious male-female politeness problem, thinking asking about the other person’s personal life is an intrusion, would make them feel you are unruly, so planning to get to know them gradually before deeper交流, and now even unsure how to address female coworkers properly, can’t just use the same terms used among female coworkers, so feel distant, can only not use any address, not even the word “you”, which probably caused difficulty in starting conversations, resulting in very reactionary hindrance to promotional work, and soon the store will be relocated and there will be no chance to promote, need to reflect deeply and later strive to交流 with other workers. Also I still have bourgeois aesthetic views towards female coworkers, this issue is extremely shameful, I used to think that if I interact with female coworkers at work, and think they are also oppressed, I should actively promote and guide rather than peep at them with bourgeois aesthetics and porn-like gaze, but in reality I became a coward, not fighting my reactionary thoughts and instead criticizing female coworkers, not taking promotional work seriously, also one of the reasons not to engage with female coworkers is I don’t want to talk to them about women’s liberation in a way that goes against the movement.\nAdditionally there is the store relocation申请, but the higher-ups like HR directors and such have not approved for half a day, probably because it was the weekend and they didn’t check messages, these dog HR people are like this, get rich by exploiting the poor, not rich.
April 12, going to work, commuting takes less than 20 minutes, there are many traffic lights, if they’re all red it’s troublesome. After arriving at the shop, I started making pearls (boba). Then I wanted to chat with the part-timer, but because I’m usually in one position with little contact, it didn’t seem easy to交流, even though I imagined many conversation scenarios (first ask if her part-time job is fixed back-of-house, then ask why she兼职, originally assuming she’s a student, then we’d talk about how I viewed兼职 to earn living costs in college, but she started talking about social security with another full-time person, I was only listening at the side, and I don’t know how our chat started; I realized she might not be a student, so I stammered again, another failed day). But I didn’t even take the first step. After that, during a break, I could only have a pancake wrap, then wasn’t full and thought to drink a glass of milk to fill up. After hesitating a bit, I told a coworker to use a coupon for a milk, coworker said it could be made for free, I had been in the shop before, after finishing drinking I felt somewhat full. After that we closed, but didn’t really chat much, only mentioned my training, and because the milk tea shop was expanding quickly there’s a local training place so I didn’t have to go out of town, it’s expanded so much in just over a year. There are still too many parasites (possibly metaphorical for problems). We also talked about whether I could do packing, I said no one taught me, I only watched others nearby, but that statement was a bit wrong at the time; other coworkers would correct me if they saw I’d mistaken, so it was a form of teaching. After that not much交流 again, though I wanted to ask his age or something. After work I went home, about 20 minutes, indeed quite troublesome, and I got home about 11:15 pm. Then I saw the next week’s schedule, one night shift, teamed with three people, and thought there might be a chance for交流. I凌晨 wrote yesterday’s labor diary. Today I feel that if there’s nothing during work that can be written in the labor diary, it’s quite shameful, meaning I didn’t strive enough.
Today at work, I don’t know why, maybe it’s because I read news about colonizers plundering mineral resources in Africa, and then thought of a plot from a novel I used to be obsessed with, Street of Wealth? It said that the wealth left by ancestors, in fact, ancestors also rose by exploiting the lower classes; wealth, among other things, should belong to all people, just like knowledge capital—knowledge isn’t earned by the labor of the common people, so what right do they have to treat it as capital. Then someone placed an order; I thought about how those who get two days off are also intellectuals, living a comfortable bourgeois or capitalist life by possessing knowledge, and they can’t empathize with physical laborers. They only think about how they can’t drink this or that, and can’t imagine the labor behind it.
April 13 at work again, getting dragged into internal conflicts, hesitating whether to directly ask coworkers if they’ve seen the news or not, then went to pack and process orders. Today another part-time job I started feels hard to approach people, even though there wasn’t much interaction. After a meal break, I made myself a cup of milk to drink, considered thrift, browsed threads and the union, looked up a small dictionary to clarify concepts, and then replied to a post from rus, but his post was too long, so I only skimmed the final summary. Strangely, this post hadn’t had a reply for several days, He Jianzhong hadn’t appeared for eight days either. Then I saw a Brazilian post about BYD being blacklist-listed, I replied, then slept for three minutes, then back to work. It’s unavoidable, a parasite asked me to open it for him; I couldn’t think of a refusal method at once, so I chose to insert a suction tube for him. In reality, this also reflected my class position. Even if I hadn’t thought of a good way to refuse, I could have pretended not to hear or remained silent, but because I was cowardly and afraid of conflict I surrendered, very shameful. As a result, I didn’t remove the tissue from the tip of the tube, and this idiot just threw it onto the table, speechless. Then I asked coworkers about this kind of thing, and he said he didn’t want to do it either, but there’s no way around it.
April 14 attended new employee training. At the start, self-introductions: women all say their hobbies are binge-watching dramas, men say they like playing games. The supervisor even said he likes to crack jokes, which felt quite vulgar. The training course was so nauseating, saying that the company isn’t family, that family is where you tolerate others’ mistakes, and we can’t tolerate others’ mistakes, we must strive to increase turnover. Then they asked why opening new stores is slow, said it’s because of stable, solid foundations, but I think it’s really because there’s no capital injection, so expansion is slower. Later with capital, isn’t there crazy expansion again? It’s like they’re beautifying capitalists. Then they say customers are gods, isn’t that just because of profit, and they talk about materials being kept fresh, but that’s still to make a profit, making it seem like subjective selfishness and objective altruism, while in reality as long as capitalists can profit, all kinds of drugs and such will still be sold. If they can ensure customers don’t taste the problems, then freshness doesn’t matter. It makes capitalists seem like they don’t forget their original intention.
During the period there were still reactionary moments where people raised their hands to answer, though they weren’t called on, which was very shameful; I just went along with these people, and kept silent as much as possible, and the thing about answering questions earned a points voucher, which reminded me of training dogs, being looked down on as I received some meager reward. After that I casually took some notes, recording some internal information. During the meal break, the so-called lecturer also took a meal break to watch a video, saying there’s no need to watch it in the afternoon. I rested for a few minutes on the steps, then read the written instructions, and then went back to write part of the training manual. The training remained somewhat dull, and during the exam I made an error again. I initially scored 85, which would have been enough to pass, but there were two chances, so I took the exam again and got 100. In fact, it was opportunism: hoping to leave a good impression on these workers, so I behaved so servilely. I should calm down and remind myself that I’m in opposition to these people, I shouldn’t be obedient to them or degrade myself.