The situation is as follows: yesterday, after reading two new posts by Magpie, I expressed some of my own opinions. There was a lot of swearing and a very aggressive tone. Words like “rebellious” and even “shameless” were thrown around. At that time, I criticized three places, and now I want to specifically analyze how terrible my behavior was.
First, I did not conduct any actual investigation, nor did I ask how Magpie currently views the pseudo-Commun Youth League; instead, I confused the past with the present, thinking that Magpie wanted to join the pseudo-Commun Youth League for personal gain, and thus I cursed Magpie as “rebellious.” Second, I saw Magpie treating reading Marxist works as just a casual activity in opportunistic historical studies, and I directly responded with a sarcastic rhetorical question, which was not an attitude of equality, but more like that of a high-ranking bureaucrat. Third, Magpie said, “It’s fine to engage in opportunism as long as it’s not for grades,” which is indeed problematic, but explaining the reasoning clearly would suffice. Yet I flew into a rage, firing a series of rhetorical questions, and even added the word “shameless” at the end, which was very savage.
Fenghuo is right; these issues are not about principle. Magpie has not studied Marxism-Leninism and has not undergone ideological transformation, which is understandable. But why do I set such high standards, hindering others’ transformation; why do I put on such a big bureaucratic attitude, trying to scare people away with a nasty appearance? The reason lies in the fact that my own principles and stance are not firm enough, my theoretical level is not high, and my mind is full of thoughts about showing off and becoming an official.
As you can see, my reply to Magpie contains nothing but insults and accusations. Because I haven’t studied for a long time, I lack knowledge, but I still want to indulge in a bit of authority, so I pretend to be intimidating, picking at some superficial details to ruthlessly attack, making myself look principled. In reality, this behavior is the most damaging to principles. Chairman Mao’s pointed criticism was insightful; I am just sharp-tongued, always speaking harsh words, and what I say has no real substance, plus I am thick-skinned and shameless.
Try to put yourself in my position. How was I before? I also said many childish and wrong things, and I did quite a few, maybe enough to fill a hundred baskets. But comrades always reasoned with me, helped me solve problems, and never treated me this way or attacked me like this. What I am doing now is purely self-serving, acting bureaucratically for personal gain, damaging the forum’s atmosphere and image. Doing this will only scare away those who are trying to approach us, making them afraid to speak.
I apologize to everyone for my immoral behavior. From now on, I will understand the situation before speaking, treat others with reason, and avoid reckless insults. Also, when criticizing others, I will think about how I am myself; otherwise, it is too hypocritical to preach Marxism-Leninism to others while holding liberal ideas for myself.