As the title suggests, I am recording my labor and daily life. I will write about whatever I have; today there are many things to talk about, so the post might be a bit longer.
Today I didn’t go to the sponge factory for an interview, but instead went to a small factory that produces paper shoe insoles. I worked for 9 hours, paid by piecework, earning 114 yuan today. The working hours are not fixed; I can go whenever I want. I plan to work from 8 a.m. to 6 or 7 p.m. in the future. Today I just started working, not very skilled, and because I have been parasitic for so long, I was exhausted after not working much. The piece rate is only 6 yuan for such a large bag. The workers nearby also said this work is very tiring, young people can’t endure it, and told me not to do it (many petty bourgeois students who go out to find work wouldn’t choose to do general factory work). I immediately had the thought of escaping, but I still gritted my teeth and persisted until noon. Because no meal was provided, I went outside to eat lunch, costing 15 yuan.
In the afternoon, I became more skilled at the work. But what made me very unhappy was that two dog workers nearby commented on me as if evaluating livestock, saying I was doing better and better. Moreover, the boss’s son suddenly came over and “kindly” said he could get me a table to make the work easier and allow me to do more. Getting a table was indeed good, no need to bend over and it also made exertion easier, but I was puzzled—why does the son of the beast still sympathize with me, this little rookie? Also, this gives the illusion that capitalists hope workers “work more for more pay.” I am studying in a capitalist university, but due to various reasons, I have learned little theory. I can only vaguely sense that the more they work, the more these bloodsuckers earn.
Later, I was thirsty and asked the boss for water (I didn’t bring water and was very thirsty for a long time—I’ll remember to bring water tomorrow). What was extremely shocking was that there was a small statue of Chairman Mao in the office. It made me furious—how dare these beasts display Mao’s statue? They only make idols and worship them; in their eyes, Mao is not the real Mao. Then the boss hypocritically handed me a bottle of mineral water. I wasn’t moved at all—these beasts have taken so much of our sweat and blood, and they just give a bottle of water and think they are bodhisattvas?
Is there any communication with the workers? Almost none. First, everyone works on their own, with no time to talk. Second, most of the workers inside are from other places and speak dialects I don’t understand. Of course, there is some communication related to work. But the factory’s division of labor isn’t very detailed, the processes are complicated, and each person has to do multiple steps. Before getting off work, two older sisters helped me pack the remaining items—this isn’t really part of their job, but they naturally helped me finish it.
There have been new physical changes. The thumbnail of my dominant hand turned blue because I was not skilled at first and often hit the board. Once I got used to it, it stopped. Wearing gloves for a long time made my hands a bit white and purple. My back muscles are especially sore. I forgot to wear a mask; other workers also didn’t seem to wear one, so I inhaled quite a bit of paper dust. Now my lungs feel a bit stuffy, and taking a deep breath causes slight pain. What reflections do these physical changes bring? Mainly, after parasitizing for so long, my physical fitness is indeed poor. Also, workers are truly like cattle and horses in the eyes of capitalists—made to work like beasts.
Actually, when I work, my mind is always thinking about how to do the job, rarely having time to reflect. But once I was a bit tired and resting, I thought about comrades working and doing theoretical work. If I run away or get kicked out by the boss, I will go home for the “New Year” and continue to be untrained, parasitic, and gain without labor every day—that would be terrible. So I clenched my teeth and continued working…
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Huh? Do you come into contact with dust? Or spray paint?
Once you become proficient, I suggest you don’t rush too much, because on the same production line, you need to consider upstream and downstream. If you work too quickly alone, the downstream will also be too fast. In fact, this is helping capitalists increase surplus value. No matter how fast you do piecework wages, it only benefits the capitalists, and they will lower the price per piece accordingly.
I feel like your unit price is really low, I don’t know if there are any subsidies or the like. Calculated, it’s about 12 per hour.
I’ve been doing this for a few days now because I can contact many people (of course, most are small bourgeois or semi-proletariat). I think, whether it’s work or other things, politics must come first. Without political leadership, it’s impossible. Even if I do a lot and work very hard, it’s all in vain.
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Hey, if there’s dust, you still need to wear a mask. Honestly, factories should provide protective equipment, so ask whether the factory provides it first.
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This job is too hellish, WC. Nine hours a day for only 114 yuan, and no meals included. Labor reform isn’t about forcing capitalists to exploit and oppress; after a day of work, you’re exhausted and don’t earn much, and probably have no energy left to study theory or participate in political activities. I wonder if I can find a better, more decent job.
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You need to take precautions against bronchiectasis on May 1st. The particles from the paper mill are very small, and the隐痛 (hidden pain) might be due to bronchiectasis. Currently, your throat feels itchy or not, and it feels like your job is very阴间 (underworld), similar to the workload of daily delivery handling on small platforms like YuanTong Express.
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(post has been deleted)
This intensity is indeed high, and the salary is also low. After going home to listen to the reading club and reading a bit, I can’t do much. The factory will be on holiday in a few days, so let’s finish these days first, and then find a new job afterward.
Today I worked an extra hour compared to yesterday, but overall I earned about twenty more yuan than yesterday.
I listened to everyone’s opinions and quickly wore a mask to work, to avoid getting dusty. Now the discomfort has disappeared. The pain in various parts of my body has eased to some extent. I wasn’t even tired in the morning; I could still think about things. What was I thinking about? I was contemplating this job. Everyone says this job is too bad and wants me to change it. The main issues are two: one is the physical intensity; the other is the wages. When I just got up in the morning and saw what everyone said, I felt very negative and thought, I might as well just stop doing this work, so I replied that I would change jobs after the New Year. But when I was working in the morning and thought about these problems, I suddenly realized that it’s very likely that after changing jobs, I would still be tired and my wages wouldn’t be much higher. First, my job is a long-day shift with flexible hours, which is relatively good. If it were a assembly line factory or the service industry, many would have to work until 8 or 9 p.m., and some even have night shifts. Second, I think my job is not much different from assembly line work or service jobs; they are equally tiring.
Regarding wages (based on personal experience), the hourly wage of 15 yuan for local general workers is normal. Of course, the hourly wage for this job is indeed a bit low, but the difference isn’t much. As the old saying goes, “Crows are all black”. Being exploited at work is normal. But it definitely shouldn’t be for the purpose of being exploited. What I am most troubled by now is that there are few workers here, so there are fewer opportunities for communication. I feel like a wooden person or a machine, not saying a word, just working. After lunch, I don’t even have time to stroll on the street; I immediately go back to the factory to continue working. In the afternoon, I almost enter a dazed state, just mechanically working, feeling occasional hatred and bitterness, as if my blood and sweat are flowing away.
Of course, I can change jobs, but I don’t expect that switching jobs will be easy (I believe hard work isn’t easy anyway), but I hope to contact more workers, which would be better for my thinking.
By the way, I want to reflect and plan on learning:
Today, near the end of work, I suddenly had a bad thought. I was thinking that I still have the strength to work for another one or two bags, but those two older sisters work so fast that they took my work away, and I immediately felt sour inside. Capitalists rely on piecework to create competition among workers. But at that moment, I was just jealous and didn’t think about this at all.
Also, how should I arrange my study of history? I feel that the categories and content of history are quite extensive, and I don’t know how to plan it well.
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There are very few opportunities to communicate with people on May 1st, and I don’t know what to say to the workers. Actually, it is very easy to indulge in the bourgeoisie’s spiritual opium and nostalgia for the old life if this situation doesn’t change. Isn’t there often a big sister who helps you rush to work? You can actively communicate with them.
There is no lingering sense of spiritual opium, because I have rarely taken opium myself. When I work in the factory, I usually recall forum matters in fragments. At that time, I had no communication with the factory workers, and due to language barriers, I couldn’t understand their speech, so naturally, we couldn’t communicate.
Now I can’t work any faster, so my wages probably won’t fluctuate anymore. After this, I won’t bring it up again, or else it would just be to fill words. Today in the morning, there was a small incident. My older sister asked me to go to another workshop to transport the scrap paper edges and corners, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to work. But when I got there, I found the workers standing far away, and the workshop was very noisy. I was too proud to shout at the workers to get the cart, so I just stood there motionless. After struggling for a while, we finally managed to get the cart and start working. During the rest of the time, I spent it in heavy labor, no different from the past few days. My mind was always in a state where I couldn’t think because I had spent a lot of mental energy on work. If I got distracted, the work would go wrong, so I could only intermittently recall the posts I browsed and some other things. Today at noon, I suddenly thought: why am I paying for anything now? Eating and living are still paid for by my parents, I don’t need to spend a penny on life. Even the meal I am holding in my hand is paid for by my mom. So I am still parasitic, not completely independent. The wages I receive are fully (or mostly) put into my own pocket, and I don’t need to worry about expenses. Therefore, I shouldn’t be proud, thinking that participating in labor makes me impressive. In fact, I haven’t even completely escaped the parasitic state. Finally, I need to reflect on the selfish and self-interested thoughts exposed in my work. The workers are not very selfish; they help me with big and small matters, I won’t list them all. Of course, I am happy about this because I benefit from it. But I myself am not very eager to help other workers. Because I still hold the old idea of “keeping the water in my own well,” and I am reluctant to harm myself to benefit others. I only focus on the work in my hands and rarely主动帮帮工友. Today, the reading club mentioned the issue of selfishness, and of course, it’s not just this problem. Many aspects make me feel ashamed, I am still far from being a true Communist, and there is a long way to go. I must坚持下去. As for finding a new job, I had an idea on the way home: after ten days, when the factory has a holiday, I will look for a new job. I am thinking, there are many factory shutdowns, but maybe the service industry will be better? Maybe they will recruit more people? So I plan to find another job. The key question is, should I completely leave the current factory I am working in, or work some temporary jobs before the New Year and then return to the factory? I still need to think about it, or maybe everyone can give some suggestions.
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My experience is that one of the most convenient occasions to interact with workers is to help colleagues with some tasks. During this time, chatting about life can help build rapport and understand their thoughts, and it’s also a good opportunity to discuss political topics. So don’t just focus on your own work.
Of course, if you’re a relatively skilled worker and have the chance to lead new workers, it’s also a good opportunity to chat about leisure, life, and politics.
During the New Year, it’s the peak season for the service industry, and many people who stay in the store to work over the holiday are hired.
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Tonight, there were really a lot of people. So I was busy reading new posts and forgot to write my diary. I think writing a diary is still necessary: firstly, to record my thoughts; secondly, to make a small contribution to the forum. But yesterday, when I was halfway through writing and feeling a bit sleepy, I actually wanted to stop halfway because I told myself “write as much as you can,” so if I don’t write, who would know? This is a signal that I am surrendering to petty bourgeois freedom and laxity. But if I give up easily, it would have a bad influence, because I should set an example myself. I said I wanted to write a diary, but if I don’t keep my word without reason, that’s too bad.
Talking about the issue of “contribution,” I know I have received a lot of help from others, but I help others very little, so how can I ask for rewards? A long time ago, I was a little proud of doing small things like garlic slices, but now I feel ashamed of my former self. I hope I can do a small “patch” — if everyone is busy, they might not see some things, or see them but have no time to reply. I will try my humble best to “patch” them. Of course, for things beyond my ability, I can only stare blankly, otherwise I would just be talking nonsense.
Let me talk about the factory. The shoehorns of different models and weights have different labor costs for processing and packaging, but the piecework price remains unchanged. I clearly feel that today’s larger shoehorns make my effort and time more, yet I can barely maintain the normal wage level. To speed up the work, I took off my gloves and worked, which caused several cuts on my hands, and one place even bled after being rubbed. During the heavier work breaks, an unnamed fire suddenly burst in my heart, and I was so angry I wanted to curse.
But when I was about to leave work late, my sister came over again to help me pack so I could leave early. I am actually very grateful, but I don’t know what to say…
(That’s all for today, I’ll sleep first)
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You probably are working a winter vacation job, right? I was thinking before that if you can only work during holidays, switching jobs back and forth isn’t very good. If you stick to one job, you can also build more connections with workers. It’s just that your job is really shady, I don’t know if the working conditions there are all like this.
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No, I am not doing winter vacation work. I have to work continuously afterward. If I am still in school now, with only a dozen days off, I can’t really do much work.
I mentioned some above, and of course, it’s a rough comparison:
Actually, I am under 18 now, so finding a job isn’t that easy, so I often have the mindset of “just find one,” and I don’t pay much attention to working conditions.
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Today, as soon as I arrived at the factory, the dog manager started shouting: “Look at you, only coming at eight o’clock every day, look at them (pointing to the older sister), they start working at six every day. Come earlier tomorrow!” I pretended not to hear and ignored her. But inside, I thought, you bunch of dogs, on the surface saying “how much work is the workers’ own business,” but in reality, they wish every second the workers are working. I also saw the dog manager come over earlier and tell the older sisters not to chat and to work quickly, shamelessly saying “earn a bit more money to go home for the New Year.”
Because the new model added more steps, it took more time and effort. Today was a “hell” for me. As usual, I was exhausted, even more so. But the most painful part was that I knew only by putting in more effort could I keep my wages from dropping, but I felt powerless. I was so exhausted that I was dizzy and really couldn’t speed up my movements. This feeling had already come yesterday. And today, everything returned to the day I first started working, even more severely. In the constant repetition of tedious work, my mind was very hazy, feeling like I would faint at any moment. My body didn’t hurt, but I felt weak and unable to exert force.
I have already pointed out the terrible conditions of this factory one by one. But I kept thinking, I should just endure. There are a few reasons: first, I was afraid that if I complained right away, I would want to run away, and I’d look like a parasite that has been here too long; second, I was afraid I wouldn’t find a good job, and the new job I find might be even worse, so I just wanted to endure. But now, the pain of exploitation and oppression has overwhelmed me because I am drained of energy even for normal political activities. So I feel I can’t do this work anymore; if I continue, I will collapse. I plan to quit this job tomorrow and look for another in the service industry. If I can’t find a new job tomorrow, I will pause updating the labor diary.
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Summary:
When negotiating for a little bit of wages with the illegal factory, I was often beaten down by my own fear of struggle and defeatism. I initially held onto the reformist illusion that “the other side will make concessions,” but the result was only mockery and humiliation from them. They saw my fear of struggle and thus became very arrogant. If it weren’t for the help of comrades, I might still not have received my wages by next month.
My fear of struggle is, first, because of the police dogs. Actually, I fear most that the police will come to “investigate” my “background,” which is linked to the school, and I feel like “the sky is falling.” Today’s reading group talked about a revolutionary fighter called “Huzi,” who faced brutal police torture and only responded with “I don’t know.” As for myself? In many aspects, I am still far from a true revolutionary.
Second, I fear that after being expelled for fighting, I won’t find a new job and will be stuck at home parasitically. Objectively speaking, it’s indeed hard for me to find a job casually. But I always exaggerate the difficulty of finding work, so I keep thinking “I must endure.” So I endured in the illegal factory for five whole days.
Sometimes I have a terrifying thought of “living peacefully and amicably.” Even when these dogs and scoundrels become arrogant and overbearing, I still force myself to hold back my anger and continue to be a slave.
Observations from Working at a Fruit Shop
Yesterday, I started working at a fruit shop. The work isn’t tiring, firstly because I just arrived and not everything can be handled directly; secondly, I heard from a senior sister (A) that the store manager used to scold newcomers to drive them away. Now, with the Spring Festival approaching and the fruit shop aiming for profit, they forcibly require no holidays during the festival period (about seven or eight days in total). Old employees from out of town are forced to resign, so they have to hire new staff. So in these two days, I’ve been learning slowly and doing some chores, while the store manager still appears “friendly and polite.”
(At this point, I really hope I can always work the morning shift, but of course, that’s impossible. If I do, I can go home by six and join the reading club. If I rotate to other shifts, with the noisy environment of the shop, there will be work from time to time, and the chances and quality of participating in the reading club will be compromised.)
Let me first talk about the people in the shop. This is quite important. Starting with the store manager, the head of the fruit shop. She is very hypocritical, speaking in a set of routines. To customers, especially the affluent petty bourgeoisie who frequently visit the store, she always smiles and laughs. But to the staff, she just gives commands and orders around. Especially the senior sister (A) who has conflicts with her—she glares with disdain and hatred. She also once smiled and said to me that young people have a lot of development space, with training and competitions, and can become store managers later… I was surprised to hear that, thinking, how could that be? It must be just a pie in the sky. I definitely won’t be a lapdog. And how could I stay in a small shop for a few years? I asked A about this, and she said such things do exist, but I haven’t changed my mind.
This senior sister (A) is the person I interact with the most and talk to the most. She used to be a factory worker, and has been working as a shop assistant for several months now. But now she wants to resign because she’s not allowed to take holidays during the Spring Festival, and she has conflicts with other staff and the manager, so she simply decided to quit. How do these conflicts happen? In the past two days, A once scolded an employee for “being timid and afraid of heavy work,” and once argued with the manager, saying she’s too controlling over small matters and has a bad attitude towards her. When I asked her about this, she said: “Who treats me well, I treat well; who treats me badly, I treat badly.”
Her thoughts are two-sided. On one hand, she bravely opposes the manager (which surprised me as a bookworm), and she also has a kind and helpful side, showing kindness to others (of course, she dislikes loafing and pushing work onto others). But on the other hand, she is quite rude to her coworkers. When they loaf, instead of persuading them not to be selfish and push all the work onto others, she swears loudly. She thinks some workers are “bad” and “terrible.” She also believes that the store can have a good manager, and the previous manager was better than the current one. In fact, this is like implying that factory owners and bureaucrats can also be “good people.” This shows she believes in human nature theory—that there is a super-class of human nature that determines whether a person is good or bad.
(Other staff members are not well understood yet, I’ll talk about them later.)
And now, I’d like to share some thoughts about the fruit shop. I’ve noticed that ordinary working-class people often shake their heads and walk away when they see the prices of fruits in the shop. Only some petty bourgeoisie, especially the affluent ones, frequently come here. Every time I see working-class people ask about the prices and then frown and walk away, I feel very sad. The working class cannot afford the “luxurious” items in the shop, which are specifically meant for the wealthy petty bourgeoisie to buy.
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I have decided in my heart to compress the time I spend writing diaries. Right after the reading club ends, or even before it begins, I start to plan my daily diary and put it into action. This way, I can carve out some time each day to check the posts, and maybe even reply to some. Now I only have time to systematically study theories, which is already very difficult. If I have holidays later, I must pay attention to how to make good use of my time, and I can arrange more time for myself to learn more Marxism-Leninism.
How long do I plan to stay here? I feel this place is not suitable for a long stay. It’s very cramped, and the trivial matters in the shop divert my attention, which is really bad. Moreover, there are often various quarrels in the shop over work issues, arguments, teasing, and joking, which also disturb my peace of mind. What’s even more hateful is that many shops, in order to attract customers, play all kinds of weird music, which is bourgeois music. This makes me very uncomfortable, like small stones in my shoes that I can’t take out. Compared to that, I can still accept the roar of factory machines because these kinds of music are like living venomous snakes, while machines are truly ruthless. So, I plan to find a new job later. I will stay here for a few more months and then decide.
Today, I finally saw the true face of the shop manager, like a dog servant. A bureaucrat came to our fruit shop to buy fruit gift boxes for his unit. This person was very arrogant, full of official airs. The obedient shop manager spoke nicely to him face to face, but when he got into the car and left, he started to curse like Ah Q, viciously. As he cursed, he said, ah, he had issued an invoice, reimbursed it, and could put the remaining money into his own pocket, embezzling over a thousand! I think the shop manager has the character of Ah Q, and coincidentally, that bureaucrat is also a “lord.”
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