\nThis is my school diary from December
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December 22nd, Monday
This morning, something particularly disgusting happened. During the flag-raising ceremony in the big morning break on Monday, I was a few steps late to the gathering, and several school leaders (various directors), Lao Jiu, stopped me and a few other classmates, looking fierce. Being late deducts points, which is just a small matter for me, but they deliberately made it disgusting by taking photos and posting them in various teachers’ groups, and making us stand there punished. After the assembly, they made the dismissed students watch us stand as punishment, doing some chicken-killing and bird-respecting monkey show. It was disgusting. Although I don’t care much about others’ opinions, this itself is a very humiliating thing. When they dismissed us, I was planning to follow the crowd and leave, but the coercion from several school leaders and my own fear of school retaliation and extra punishment prevented me from doing so. I was ruthlessly subjected to authoritarian control, with formalistic acts like killing chickens, respecting birds, and monkeys. Every time, a few people are caught. One point worth mentioning: B was also caught with me; he also knows that Zhong X is a social emperor. There’s also A and C. I really want to develop these three, but I need to be stronger myself.
Today at noon, I felt a bit confused. Sigh, I always cherish university life and don’t want to abandon personal interests.
In the evening self-study class, the head teacher pulled me aside again to discuss my academic issues. I almost want to return to the embrace of academic pursuits, thinking at least to get into a second-tier university.
How about the reaction of fujoshi and otome literature’s rebellious nature? I see some girls around me like these.
December 23rd, Tuesday
Today there is nothing particular to note, just some newspaper reading. Once again, the United States is waving the big stick of “cracking down on terrorist organizations” to infringe upon Latin American countries. Japanese monopoly capital’s greedy heart is unrepentant, and they want to promote fascism again. The Japanese people and the people of the world will not allow it! The imperial Russia’s ambition to invade Ulan remains very clear; so-called peaceful resolution is just “peace” based on infringing on Ukraine’s national interests. China and Russia are again pretending to be neutral and objective regarding the Cambodian conflict. Regarding Israel’s policy of “Jewish settlement” immigration, history has already proven that as long as the Palestinian people actively resist, the immigration policy is bound to fail.
Wednesday, December 24th
Today and tomorrow I have exams. Although I want to strongly criticize pornographic ideas (please see my self-introduction for the supplement on the history of the development of pornographic ideas), after criticizing pornographic ideas, opportunistic thoughts have come back with a vengeance. I ultimately find it very difficult to let go of personal interests, and the resistance around me is also very strong (if I am determined, obstacles can be broken through; if I am not determined, even without obstacles, I will not move forward).
Tonight, I chatted with my deskmate about some unnutritious games and novel topics. I don’t have much resistance to these topics. When talking about promoting work to classmates, I was full of enthusiasm at first, but then I didn’t want to do it anymore. There are reasons such as feeling that I am not revolutionary enough, and also ideas of letting classmates go their own way.
Thursday, December 25th
During the exam, I tried to take it seriously, but the answer key really upset me. Although I haven’t engaged in speculation for a long time, such results are normal. Still, writing so many inexplicable questions was very uncomfortable. Haha, whoever wants to speculate can go ahead, but I can still manage to pass a second-tier university. It’s really hard to endure. I haven’t decided to give up college completely, but I can further give up hardcore pornography. Softcore pornography is still too abundant in my life, I need to criticize it specifically.
December 26th, Friday.
Today I tried to seriously listen to a lesson on Tianke and found that the most disgusting one is still the old nine of Chinese language, there’s nothing much to say about the other teachers, rarely any reactionary remarks. Although there are quite a few rebellious old nines here, it’s not as bad as the beastly old nine from the four provinces of Shanhe. In recent years, because of the ban on cross-regional recruitment for high schools, Hengshui High School has lost its high-quality students, and the number of double first-class students has sharply declined. Could this be a point to expose the Hengshui model? After the exam, my confidence in betting also dropped significantly, and thinking about the development of the Chinese JJ struggle, I feel I’d better not bet anymore. I should learn more useful theories for the revolution.
Lately, I rarely discuss meaningful topics with A, B, and C three of them. First, I feel there’s nothing good to talk about, and second, I think I also have non-revolutionary parts. If I speak too revolutionary, they might point out my weaknesses. But I can introduce them to the Jiejiao forum, saying I just happened to find it and think the articles are pretty good.
When I was doing free thinking during evening self-study, I thought of some dormitory aunties and instructors who are also very rebellious and disgusting. Because of some trivial matters, they control, restrict, and oppress students, and are quite unreasonable. They like to indulge in personal tyranny, fiercely challenge students’ authority, and are basically school’s running dogs. Are dormitory aunties proletarians? Are instructors proletarians? Or are they thugs and hooligans? Why have they developed such oppressive thoughts towards students?
Compared to them, I don’t have much contact with the cafeteria aunties, but I feel they are very kind and compassionate. Some cafeteria aunties have an impression of me; they ask me a few casual questions when I get my food. There was a period when I only ate plain rice (because I added my own dishes but didn’t tell the auntie), and the auntie felt sorry for me, thinking I couldn’t afford to buy dishes, so she gave me a spoonful of vegetable juice with some chopped vegetables inside. After a few times, that auntie asked if I couldn’t afford dishes or what the situation was. She said I might get a stomach upset and told my family to give me more money. I only then realized the situation, explained it to her, and she smiled and relaxed. (Maybe my memory of the details is a bit off, but that really happened.) The differences between people—some who have suffered or are suffering will sympathize and help others. Some who have suffered or are suffering, or even have never suffered, cannot stand to see others doing well. When they see others suffering and complain, they feel very uncomfortable and do not allow others to complain because they are “more suffering.”
@Welcome How have you been lately?
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