It has been about three months since I last wrote a factory diary, so here I will roughly describe what has happened during this time. After the last episode of demanding wages ended, I took a break, but during this period I did not persist in ideological struggle, nor did I take advantage of the favorable conditions of not wasting time on wage labor to study Marxism or do something meaningful for the association and forum. Instead, I indulged myself in pleasure, listened heavily to virtual singer music, and was deeply addicted to the spiritual opium of the bourgeoisie, unable to extricate myself. However, the forum members did not give up on helping me because of my self-indulgence; on the contrary, they repeatedly persuaded and taught me to follow the Marxist path. But because I still could not let go of the virtual singers, I was afraid to make a revolutionary decision, and subjectively used counter-revolutionary ideological struggle, occasionally influenced by revolutionary thoughts arising from practice and the help of others. Eventually, I had a major conflict with everyone but still did not completely turn to the counter-revolutionary path. Listening to the advice of forum members, I found another factory and re-entered wage labor.
However, by this time my thinking had regressed significantly compared to the beginning of the month. At first, I still thought about writing something, to restart a factory diary. But because I devoted a large amount of time entirely to spiritual opium, my mental state worsened and I thought less and less. Meanwhile, since this factory is a foreign-funded factory and the workstation I was assigned to was relatively freer and easier compared to others, I further relaxed my ideological struggle during this process, completely letting myself go. I listened to virtual singers whenever I wanted, paid no attention to the association’s activities, and only occasionally thought of the organization when my living conditions worsened, browsing the forum messages.
But good times did not last. I thought I could maintain this state, keeping myself out of the bourgeoisie and proletariat struggle, but reality soon taught me a lesson. At my workplace, there was a formal worker scab with extremely arrogant and corrupt, reactionary thoughts. I could not stand his bullying of other workers and had conflicts and arguments with him. This person had been overbearing for many years, and seeing me fight him felt deeply humiliated, so he launched furious verbal abuse and physical provocations against me. I immediately fought back. Seeing that this tactic could not make me submit, he used the excuse that my counterattack caused him physical injury to try to get the Nazi police involved to make me compensate him. However, since his injury was almost zero and had little effect on his body, the Nazi police did not intervene and instead mediated based on the Confucian principle of harmony. The scab was discouraged but still harbored evil intentions. He went to the hospital to get a so-called mild concussion certificate and demanded the police administratively detain me. The Nazi police found the evidence insufficient and called me to ask if I wanted to participate in mediation or let him go to court. I knew the scab was unreasonable and that the Nazi court itself was ineffective, so I chose to let the scab pursue litigation. Seeing he still could not make me submit, he became furious and forcibly dragged me during his off-work hours to the public security bureau for mediation. After I argued my case, the scab lost patience and assaulted me. Eventually, the factory feared the conflict between me and the scab would affect production and suspended both of us.
During this period, with the help of the forum, I still persisted in struggle, wanting to punish the scab with administrative detention. Under the Nazi police’s coercion and inducement, I repeatedly refused mediation. To force me to accept mediation, the Nazi police even locked me in a so-called study room, forced me to make so-called statements, and restricted my personal freedom for a day.
However, during this time, I still did not persist in ideological struggle and maintained a petty-bourgeois lifestyle, indulging in spiritual opium all day. With the organization’s help, my ideological state occasionally improved, but the overall trend was still deteriorating. Ultimately, during this relaxed period of suspension, I completely abandoned the Marxist position, forgot my historical mission and emotional ties with the working class, the forum’s help, and hatred of capitalist oppression. I chose to go to the opposite side, broke with everyone for a time, severed relations, and became a shameful scab.
After this, I compromised and surrendered, reconciled with the scab, and accepted compensation. Upon learning this, the factory immediately and unreasonably fired me (and also fired the scab). Afterward, I fought in the factory, exposing the factory’s rude dismissal of workers and protection of scabs. But because I had long been addicted to spiritual opium and did not follow the Marxist path of uniting workers during my time at the factory, it had little effect and I was even imprisoned by the Nazi police (locked in the study room for about eight or nine hours). After being released, I completely let myself follow a petty-bourgeois right-wing spontaneous path, indulging in spiritual opium all day, using high-end headphones, not participating in labor, and living parasitically lying flat in a youth hostel.
After about two months, I squandered all my money and finally had to return to wage labor. Meanwhile, the emptiness and decadence in life always caused me conflicting feelings, often feeling that life could not continue this way. So from time to time, I returned to the forum to check in, say a few words, and rarely participate in some activities.
