My Recent Situation and Ideological Issues:
Since the 14th, I have been staying at home for the past few days, having a lot of free time. I feel that this allows me to better participate in collective activities, read, and study. During the first two days, I just aimlessly browsed posts on the forum, scrolling down continuously, clicking on whatever interested me, reading until wherever I stopped, without much effect. Now I can’t even recall what I read. It was mostly what G recommended to me, such as other members’ factory weekly diaries, disagreements with Dongfeng, two articles about education in the Dawn Newspaper, etc. I read those. I also looked at some non-compliant posts in the political exposure and self-introduction sections, because there were many debates there, involving organizational line disputes and even some organizational history.
The main collective activity I participated in was the reading group, but it was canceled for a few days in the middle. I attended the political economy reading group on “Labor Process and Value-Added Process,” which I had seen before at school and could understand. I also attended the historical materialism reading group on “Lenin and the Struggles of Leftists in Various Countries Against Revisionism,” which I did not prepare for and could not keep up with. I focused more on the chatting part, so I only knew a rough outline: there was a meeting, a draft was proposed, and then the final result and a historical evaluation. After the reading group, I did not take notes or record reflections, so it was not very effective for me.
I also told G about this problem. Basically, I tell G all my problems. He usually analyzes my issues during his work breaks and gives advice. He told me to connect more with the collective. However, on one hand, due to petty-bourgeois pride, I don’t want to discuss personal ideological issues on public platforms, even on the People’s Square forum. I feel everyone has their own things to do, and I don’t check the forum often, so writing a long post about my problems at once is inappropriate. On the other hand, I feel I missed the opportunity to join the collective and have a kind of giving-up mentality. G also criticized me for this, saying I cannot disappoint everyone’s expectations. I think this is true. The forum members are very friendly. Everyone patiently helped me resolve my struggles with private family issues and personal cult problems. Anzi (I don’t know if I can call her that) even wrote a detailed and comprehensive analysis and answered my doubts one by one in the self-introduction section. I have seen all these, but I want to integrate into the collective, not just communicate with everyone on the forum, which is very limited interaction.
From the 17th, I started writing daily plans and recording completion status, supplementing some specific processes as a simple activity record (attached at the end). I shared all these with G, who analyzed them, and then I improved. Life has become fulfilling in recent days. Purposeful and planned study is much better than a free and scattered state. Following G’s advice, I planned to first finish reading the guiding documents, then look at the Youth League’s tasks, and read posts about women’s liberation. Progress has been made in these days, which makes me feel good, but this is only a superficial phenomenon.
Just yesterday, I went back to school once. At that time, my thoughts became confused. I even doubted whether my direction was correct and whether to continue opportunism. After all, I have some foundation. I hurriedly packed my things and left the school. It was raining heavily outside. I carried two bags and rushed to the supermarket to buy soy sauce (I have been cooking alone these days; my family went out to a banquet). Then I quietly sat at the supermarket entrance waiting for my mother to pick me up after work. Meanwhile, I watched a few videos recording the lives of working people. One was quite fake, saying daily wages were 400-500 yuan, although it also said working more than 10 hours was required. Another was about Sichuan basket carriers, which was very explicit. Basket carriers are basically aged 40-60, the youngest 31, the oldest over 60, also paid daily. They help transport things for others. One specific example was transporting building materials, soil, and sand. Accommodation was a large dormitory housing 50-60 people, with collective meals costing 7 yuan per person. This video was very realistic. Later, I returned in the rain, soaked through, then went to the banquet to solve dinner. At night, my mother pressured me, suspecting I hurried back for some urgent matter (although I had nothing important to do, and there was no reading group yesterday). She also asked when I would go back to school and used other petty-bourgeois examples and Lao Jiu’s words to pressure me. I refuted all of them one by one. Although I did have some problems, for example, when responding to the petty-bourgeois example, I said, “That classmate was not good academically anyway, so what’s the harm if she is gone for a few days?” Here, I treated good academic performance as an honor and a boastful capital, which just fell into the arms of the capitalist class and private family. Later, I told G about these things. He criticized me. But in further communication, I exposed an even bigger problem (opportunistic academic attitude). Although on the surface I seemed to have broken with the academic attitude and felt good about myself, the crisis lies in the surface calmness. In the conversation, I mentioned “regarding private families, not taking an opposing stance but a reformist stance,” and my ideological problems suddenly surfaced. Ideological problems do not appear all at once but are qualitative changes caused by quantitative changes. G said he also saw my ideological problems from my plan completion status. This morning, G cooperated with me again to deal with the “attack” from private family and Lao Jiu.
I want to use this post to show my recent situation and expose my ideological problems.
I will continue to update later, and daily plans and activity records will also be displayed here.
Everyone is welcome to criticize and advise!
5.17 Plan
Summary
5.17 Plan
9-10 AM: Study “The Tasks of the Youth League” (did not finish the original text, assisted by reading notes and study materials)
10:30-11:30 AM: Study the Guide to Ideological Struggle (not finished)
11:30 AM-12 PM: Cook and eat (porridge and pressure cooker hot dishes)
12-1:30 PM: Publications (video games) (not read, read F and ChatGPT; debate with the Revolutionary Society)
1:30-2 PM: Nap (slept for one hour)
2-3:30 PM: Read major debate posts (Dongfeng) (continued reading the debate with the Revolutionary Society)
4:30-6 PM: Book club preparation (not prepared)
6-6:30 PM: Cook and eat (alone, took nearly an hour and a half)
8-10 PM: Book club (African colonial history, Congo blood cobalt)
Activity record (not done)
10:30 PM: Sleep (sleep at 11 PM)
5.17 Plan and Completion Status
Summary
5.17 Activity Record 2025-05-18 10:41:13 Around 8 got up, 9 finished breakfast (egg pudding and nutritional powder, ate too little, couldn’t sustain until noon)
Morning 9-10 studied “The Mission of the Youth League” (did not finish the original text, assisted by reading notes and study materials, after 10 rode a bike for 5 minutes as exercise)
10.5-11.5 studied the Guide to Ideological Struggle (did not finish, posted a segment about the “valley of ideological struggle” in the robot’s post)
11.5-12 cooked and ate (porridge and pressure cooker hot dishes, this requires some thinking, or rather, asking more and doing more to gain experience, for example, the second time reheating porridge needs to add water again, for pressure cooker hot dishes, once the pressure valve vents steam, turn off the heat and let it sit for a while. The pressure cooker lid handle at home is still missing, broken by grandma yesterday, so can only pull out the pressure valve and then grab the iron part to open the lid. There were two dishes in total, I used a stacked structure: a metal tripod at the bottom, then a large bowl of dish, and on top a steaming tray with a small bowl of dish. Although the dish on top might touch the lid, it does not affect the cooking; overall very successful)
12-13.5 publications (video games) (did not read, read F and ChatGPT; debate with the Revolutionary Society, originally wanted to read the debate with the East, but ended up browsing F’s homepage, roughly read all topics and a long string of post replies, later read the discussion about how revisionism suppresses revolutionary organizations, also read the debate with the Revolutionary Society, though it was hardly a debate, the other side basically did not argue but threw tantrums, very annoying and ridiculous. Also, many people seem to attack the organization, F especially insulted and attacked, also learned some past of the organization)
13.5-14 noon rest (slept 2 hours 14-16, woke once for half an hour but did not get up, went back to sleep, later checked, recommended to sleep less than half an hour normally, for naps sleep one hour, sleeping too long affects health)
14-15.5 read major debate posts (East Wind) (continued reading debate with Revolutionary Society 16-18)
16.5-18 book club preview (did not preview, listening without preview is really inefficient)
18-18.5 cooked and ate (family all went to a banquet, alone at home, spent nearly one and a half hours cooking rice + washing dishes + cooking one dish + eating 18-19.5)
20-22 book club (African colonial history 1.5 hours, Congo blood cobalt 0.5 hours) Activity record (not done, supplemented plan completion status, contacted G, summarized plan and record, discussed family struggle for self-study time)
22.5 sleep (sleep at 23)
5.18 Plan and Completion Status
Summary
5.18 Plan
Laundry (completed at 10:20)
10-11 Yesterday’s event records and book club reflections, referencing related articles from Dawn (partial event records completed at 11:25, book club reflections not written)
11-12 Lunch (made an eggplant dish, a bit burnt, lunch completed at 12:40)
13.5-14 Nap (contacted G, shared event records and plans, read the disagreement post with Dongfang, ate some nutritional powder, started sleeping at 15, woke up at 15:30)
Afternoon Went to school to pick up a package and fruit, ideological struggle guide, Youth League tasks (left at 16:00, picked up items at school, bought soy sauce, returned home in the rain, ate dinner, back home at 20:00, talked with mom about academics and her factory situation)
20-22 Mid-Revolution; set long-term plan (not completed)
22.5 Sleep (talked with G until midnight)
5.19 Plan
Summary
5.19 Plan
10.5-11.5 Ideological issues post (completed by 12.5)
12-13 Lunch
14-14.5 Sleep
15-17 Book club preparation
17-18 Youth League tasks
18-18.5 Dinner
20-22 Book club
Activity record
23 Sleep
Do you have any thoughts after reading these?
Why give up? If you really want to join the collective, you can reapply. Don’t be afraid to speak openly about ideological issues; you should be brave to expose and resolve them.
What you said is too abstract; I can’t see any specific events, and I don’t know the details of your Zixue Ye situation. What’s your mindset?
By the way, do you want to ask if G has any plans to come back?
Actually, I don’t have many ideas; I understand the principles. I heard about MLM shortly after getting involved, and the concept of women’s liberation is relatively new. This is a very good point and is a matter of deciding the direction.
Now, things are better; my attitude is properly adjusted, and ideological issues will be addressed later.
I feel that dropping out of school to work is a good choice, but completing academic studies and graduating from university is also a good choice. The former allows earlier involvement in large-scale production, avoiding the easily corruptible days of university, while the latter allows learning skills, which the forum needs, but it doesn’t guarantee ideological conditions. The academic situation is uncertain now. Previously, I could score 560, but now that I’m home and haven’t studied for a month, it can actually be considered two months because I haven’t studied due to renewed ideological struggles. I don’t know how things will be for the college entrance exam. I feel like I’m living off past achievements; ideological struggles are ongoing, and academic performance may not necessarily decline. There’s a kind of speculative thinking at play.
As for G, he said a few days ago that he hasn’t finished writing his self-introduction but indicated he will come to the forum.
5.19 Plans and Activity Records
Summary
10:30-12:00
Thought question posts (Completed on 12.5, the language has a somewhat self-pitying tone, the academic issues are not clearly expressed, but at least it got started)
12:00-13:00
Lunch (From 12.5 to 13.5, I cooked a bowl of rice myself, quite successful, the key was daring to use oil, constantly stirring, scraping the rice stuck to the pot, and controlling the time according to my preference; if you like crispy rice crust, let it steam for a few seconds after turning off the heat)
14:00-14:30
Sleep (14.5-15)
15:00-17:00
Book club preview (Read some scattered posts, such as the JQR virtual singer post, replied to the post by Yunduan, this new member is a bit abstract, has some academic level, and speaks with a literary youth flavor)
17:00-18:00
Youth League tasks (Did laundry, then cooked rice; at 17.5 checked the forum, read K’s self-introduction, and replied to one of his posts; K has improved and is preparing materials for the thought questions)
18:00-18:30
Dinner (Dinner at 19:00, at 19.5 checked the forum, then at 20:20 finished the Youth League tasks; I read this article a year ago, the most impressive point is: youth should absorb all knowledge beneficial to the communist cause from school, youth should be active role models, show the masses hope for the new society through actions, make the masses feel that following them is definitely right, learn all correct scientific and cultural knowledge, not just communist writings, pamphlets, and slogans, connect all practice with the communist cause, all activities are for educating and enlightening the working people, for overthrowing capitalism, establishing socialism, and ultimately building communism)
20:00-22:00
Book club (Cancelled, watched “The Red Detachment of Women”; what impressed me most here is: women are a deeply oppressed group, their strength should not be underestimated, all reactionaries are paper tigers, very good at playing both sides, the southern overlord is the most typical, when caught he pretends to beg for mercy, but back in the bandit den he is arrogant and extremely selfish, knowing he is doomed he desperately sabotages, even breaking windows. Participated in the discussion meeting, pointed out my activity record is like a diary, I should write more reflections and analyze a specific event in detail. The current work environment is poor, indicating that the days of moderate revision are limited)
23:00
Sleep (Slept at 00:30)
Strongly recommend @jqr to watch “The Red Detachment of Women”
5.20 Plan
Summary
10:30
Make long-term and mid-term plans and daily plan
11:00
Complete yesterday’s activity records
12:00
Lunch
13:30
Nap
14:00
Guide to ideological struggle
16:00
Disagreement with Dongfeng
18:00
Dinner
19:00
Guide to ideological struggle
20:00
Forum activities/daily plans and activity records
23:00
Sleep
To be honest, university students’ time is often taken up by water courses (‘University Psychology’, revisionist politics classes, College English… and their various assignments), other activities, administrative affairs (like a formal graduation thesis). It’s hard to say how much of that time is effective, and domestic undergraduate education is not on the verge of collapse, but has already collapsed (quoted from “Shanghai Jiao Tong Student Survival Manual”, a guide compiled by students on academic and opportunistic strategies). How much can be learned from courses of very low quality within the effective study time? It’s really hard to say.
The very existence of the forum confirms that there are some comrades within the association who understand technology. I believe that joining the association and learning from each other is feasible.
What should I do about this?
Not going to college and breaking ties with my family is hard to accept, and I lack work and life experience, making survival a problem. During college, I can find part-time jobs to bridge the gap.
Useless college activities can be skipped; I can study on my own. But I won’t be able to do my graduation thesis.
University life can indeed be disrupted by various miscellaneous matters, wasting a lot of time. Chuyang’s desire to learn computer technology to serve the collective is indeed a good choice, but this also requires a more conscious awareness of ideological struggle.
If you can really learn some technical skills from the academic institution to apply to the collective, then this university is also worth attending. Actually, the main issue is ideological struggle; the university world is too decadent. However, my school is relatively backward, and I don’t know much about the computer science major, so I can’t give Chuyang any advice on professional studies.
5.20 Event Record
Summary
5.20 Event Record
10:30 Made long-term and mid-term plans as well as the plan for the day (completed)
11:00 Completed yesterday’s event record (completed)
12:00 Lunch
13:30 Afternoon nap
14:00 Guide to ideological struggle (not completed, after eating washed the dishes, dishwashing is a skill with many points to note, will open a separate post about household chores, then found all the posts recommended by G and bookmarked them, then slept for an hour)
16:00 Disagreement with Dongfeng (not completed, watched a video about cybersecurity, this can also be discussed in a separate post, felt something was wrong, quickly flashed the device, rearranged software, spent an hour and a half in total)
18:00 Dinner
19:00 Guide to ideological struggle (not completed, adjusted the equipment, arranged the software, restored accounts)
20:00 Forum activities/daily plans and event records (participated in meeting discussions, People’s Square discussions, jqr shared work experience and activities of people around, criticized virtual singers)
23:00 Sleep (discussed selection of literature study books, slept at 01:40)
5.21 Plan
Summary
5.21 Plan May 21, 2025 14:14
- 14:15-15:00 Write plan and activity records
- 15:00-15:30 Lunch break
- 16:00-18:30 Book club preview + Marxism and revisionism
- 18:30-19:00 Dinner
- 20:00-22:00 Book club
- 22:00-23:00 Activity records and plan
- 23:30 Sleep
5.21 Event Record
Summary
5.21 Event Record
May 21, 2025, 14:54
- Woke up at 10:30
- At 11:00 prepared lunch, chopped meat for 30 minutes, helped grandma with cooking by fetching tools, bowls, and vegetables, observed the entire cooking process. There were three dishes in total: green beans, bitter melon meatballs, and sweet potato leaves. For green beans, put directly into the pot (omitting ingredient preparation), simmered on low heat (time control relies on experience, beginners are advised to lift the lid often to prevent burning), added salt then stirred, then simmered again, added chili segments and soy sauce, stir-fried until dark green and then served; for bitter melon meatballs (ingredient pre-processing was steaming with a pressure cooker), added oil (amount hard to describe, just enough to cover the bottom of the pot), then shook the pot so the upper part also got coated with oil, waited until the oil temperature rose and it started to pop and crackle, then added the meatballs, making sure both ends touched the pot, pan-fried slightly. Note, this process can be a bit dangerous, when adding the first meatball the oil may splatter, but it gets better after that (personally thinks this process can be improved by adding the meatballs immediately after adding oil to avoid violent boiling of oil, which might be safer). Arranged the meatballs tightly, after some time flipped them (this depends on observation and feeling, or experience), after frying flipped again, then added water and salt to simmer, stirred once more and simmered a bit longer before serving; for sweet potato leaves (omitting ingredient preparation), first added a little oil, when oil boiled added minced garlic and stirred, after a few seconds added water (this step seems simple and unintentional but it can determine the success of the dish. Previously when cooking eggplant I failed here because the garlic burnt and most of the eggplant burnt too, the oil temperature was too high and the flame was quite strong. The gas stove at home is not very good, one burner requires holding the knob for a long time to keep the flame on, the other can be turned on instantly but the flame is very strong and hard to reduce. If cooking a lot of eggplant, water might not be needed), then put in the leaves, pressed them with a spatula so they wilted, added salt, stirred, added soy sauce and chili, stirred again, finally took a small piece to taste, then served. Turned off the heat and valve, after a while turned off the exhaust fan.
- Finally ate at 12:30, washed dishes at 13:00, took half an hour. Washing dishes also has many details, will post about it later.
- At 13:40 communicated with G, talked about the clown behavior of the “stinky old nine”, logged into the forum, wrote event record and plan, finished at 15:40.
5.22 Plan
Summary
11:00 Laundry + cooking
12:00 Stir-fry and eat
13:00 Write plan + draft daily routine
13:30 Wash dishes
14:00 Sleep
14:30 Activity log
15:00 Book club preview
17:00 Read Dongfeng post
18:00 Dinner
20:30 Book club
22:30 Activity log + plan
23:30 Sleep (expected to sleep 7.5 hours)
Life Rhythm (May)
Summary
7:00 Get up
7:30 Breakfast
8:00 Laundry + Physical exercise
9:00 News + Theoretical study (147 Political Economy, 25 Philosophy, 36 History)
11:30 Lunch
13:00 Wash dishes
13:30 Nap
14:00 Revolutionary literature and art (1357) History (246)
16:00 Book club preview
18:00 Dinner
20:00 Book club/forum discussion
22:30 Activity recording and planning
23:30 Sleep
5.22 Activity Record
Summary
11:00 Laundry + cooking (finished at 11:30, only cooked for one person, felt a bit wasteful of electricity)
12:00 Stir-fry and eat (stir-fried amaranth, similar method as yesterday, forgot to add salt yesterday, and added chili too late, the taste was weird, probably the natural flavor of the ingredients. Here I want to mention, when the oil is hot and garlic is added, there is a plastic smell; if water is added, the smell is even stronger and particularly unpleasant, but don’t panic, that is actually “garlic aroma,” because this is not the first time I have smelled it, but every time. It’s better to add chili earlier and separate it from soy sauce, tastes better.)
13:00 Write plan + draft daily routine (the plan should have been written the night before; life has been irregular these past few days, leading to low study efficiency)
13:30 Wash dishes (about 25 minutes)
14:00 Sleep (15:00-15:30)
14:30 Activity record (browsing website to stockpile books, related to Lu Xun)
15:00 Book club preparation (postponed)
17:00 Watch Dongfeng post (not watched) (fed chickens)
18:00 Dinner (after dinner, prepared for book club, roughly skimmed the first few chapters of “What to Do,” looked for Mao’s Selected Works “On Liberalism,” “In Memory of Norman Bethune,” Marx and Engels Selected Works “Preface to Critique of Hegel’s Philosophy of Right,” Longhua Collection “Eliminate Low-level Taste”)
20:30 Book club (Guide to Ideological Struggle, not very effective, limited by theoretical level, similar to reciting the book, unable to connect well with reality or give examples)
22:30 Activity record + plan
23:30 Sleep (expected to sleep 7.5 hours) (slept at 00:30)
Labor Reform C, only meets own life needs, does not create value for others
Collective Activity B, participated in book club and forum discussions
Interpersonal Communication B, actively participated in book club discussions, People’s Square discussions (actively replied to other members and analyzed own latest situation), G discussion (current situation and problems)
Theoretical Study C, only roughly read the first half of the Guide to Ideological Struggle, also skimmed the original works very roughly
Material Life B, besides main meals, only drank one bottle of AD calcium, dishes were rich, mostly made in previous days and brought from a feast, including marinated duck, rice noodle duck, Han cuisine, sticky rice ribs, no other material enjoyment
Spiritual Life B, able to actively participate in forum activities, persist in struggle against private family and capitalist academic institutions, urgently need theoretical study, occasionally have pornographic thoughts (seeing porn ads), lazy thoughts
5.23 Plan and Completion Status
Summary
9:20 Watch the news
9:40 (First chapter, first section of Marxist Philosophy outline)
11:20 Go to school (arrived at school at 12:00)
13:00 Return home (arrived home at 14:30)
13:30 Wash dishes
14:00 Sleep (15:00-17:30)
14:30 Revolutionary literature/history (study Lu Xun + CR history) (study Lu Xun, read carefully) (516 notice)
16:00 Guide to ideological struggle (second half)
18:00 Dinner (18:30 study Lu Xun, 20:00 study 516 notice)
20:30 Reading club
22:30 Activity records and plans (forum discussion on brain-body difference, transcendentalism, jqr made a relatively complete argument, confusion about sleep issues)
23:30 Sleep