Here, I will record the problems in life, hoping everyone can provide answers.
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The idea that I plan to use the college entrance exam as a stepping stone to stay away from my family actually shows that I still have some illusions about academic achievement. The idea of “studying well to become an official” also lingers, so every time my grades come out, I think I can do even better. But mainly, it’s a sense of mental superiority over classmates who gossip behind my back for taking occasional breaks to rest… It’s very childish and disgusting. I clearly know the dangers of academic competition, yet I still compare myself to them…
Isn’t your leave also not for creating learning conditions, but for indulging in your own pleasures?
Yes… most of the time I sleep, watch videos, and only a little time is spent studying. In contrast, at school, whenever I have free time, I read and study…
This is actually quite common, I also often do this. Because at school, there is oppressive control and reactionary order arrangements that, in a sense, make people cherish their time spent on studying more. When you leave such an environment and gain a bit of freedom, the pleasures you couldn’t indulge in at school become possible, and people become lax, no longer wanting to study for pleasure.
But indulging in pleasures only undermines your own learning ability and your fighting spirit. The more pleasure you indulge in, the more unprepared you’ll be when parents or parents联合 with the school to impose strict control on you. You will be caught off guard, have no confidence, and won’t think of strategies to fight back. So, you need to be strong yourself and criticize and struggle. Efforts at home and at school are mutually influential and promote each other.
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A few days ago, my sister told me that she wanted to exchange her death for our parents to live in pain for the rest of their lives. One phone call left me stunned. I only used some vague words to persuade her that there are ways to disgust them without death and to break free from their control. She then said that she still has more than six years to be manipulated by them. And for those who bullied her, whether in the past or now, she believes there’s no need to seek revenge afterwards. What should I do?
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I’ve had this kind of thought before, sometimes directed at some very reactionary teachers at school, thinking that as long as I die, the teachers and parents would feel guilty for a lifetime. Later, when I looked at comments on videos criticizing China’s education system online, I found that many students had similar thoughts. However, I think this should be a seemingly radical but actually cowardly mindset. I was very cowardly before too. I was bullied at school, didn’t dare to fight back or speak out. The first time I told my mom was only after I returned home for summer vacation, and the second time was on the day of winter break, when I told my family. By then, it was too late to go back to school and ask for an explanation. I believe that this kind of self-suicide to cause others pain is a very pessimistic idea, and strictly speaking, it is also a kind of servant mentality. Because, on one hand, I didn’t dare or want to make a firm decision to endure hardships, to reform and strengthen myself, aiming to fight back in the future, but only wanted to retaliate in the shortest, simplest, and most effortless way; on the other hand, it’s not about completely defeating the opponent, but using one’s own death, one’s own life, to exchange for the other’s guilt. The key point is that this still places one’s entire life in the hands of the other, as if even if I die, I have no freedom, and my soul would become a servant to the other. Narrow-minded and spiritually bound petty bourgeoisie seem to like doing this, in love, education, and family matters alike.
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But how to talk to her still requires careful consideration 
Certainly can’t let her commit suicide, but also can’t say too radical things all at once, or it might刺激 her. I think maybe we can start by caring more about her daily life, solving the difficulties she encounters regularly, and helping her fight against her family? Reasoning is something that needs to be done together with actions, otherwise the other person won’t be convinced.
Children’s suicide to relieve their parents’ pain is based on the illusion of ‘love’ for their parents. But if parents truly do not treat their children as commodities or private property, children wouldn’t think about suicide. It’s best to think of ways to resist Confucian parents and bullies, and to encourage her courage to fight.
Additionally, this weakness is likely to carry some individualistic tendencies. Individualism pursues personal comfort, and if one fights, it certainly won’t be comfortable. As a result, individualism might lead her to choose avoidance of struggle for temporary comfort.
For Marxists, to overthrow all inequalities, one must not fear temporary struggles and difficulties. Revolutionaries, even if captured or exiled (Lenin and Stalin were exiled by the Tsar multiple times), would not give up the fight.
I believe this choice of life path is the fundamental reason. If the timing is right, you might try to persuade your sister using Marxism and the deeds of revolutionaries.
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Indeed, it is like that—naive and very sad. In fact, those Confucian patriarchs who do all sorts of bad things are very selfish; how could they possibly love their children? This kind of thinking is also a manifestation of being enslaved.
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Previously on Zhihu, there was a question about a mother scolding her son in the car. The car reached a bridge, and the son directly opened the door and jumped into the river beside it, leaving the mother holding onto the railing. The question was about what this mother might be thinking. Someone replied that she would only think: “Sigh, he’s going to commit suicide like this,” which was the most liked and most resonant answer. The respondent’s point was that, at first, this mother wouldn’t feel regret but would only be surprised with confusion. Because parents see their children as private property and don’t consider the child’s true psychological thoughts, viewing scolding and similar actions as means to promote control. So, when seeing the child commit suicide, they would be unable to understand, thinking, “He wants to die just like that?” Even if some parents cry and scream after their child’s suicide, in reality, they are just crying over the loss of their investment of years of effort in raising the child. If you understand their controlling behavior, you can see that this private ownership only causes them to mourn the loss of property, not to reflect genuinely. Moreover, as a girl, the family might be thinking about accumulating social capital to sell her off as a slave. Since genuine reflection and remorse are impossible, such “attacks” are meaningless, so why risk life? Better to fight.
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I remembered this book, and perhaps I can tell your sister the parts that are not very sensitive, given that she trusts you.
What kind of parental love do we need?.pdf (607.7 KB)
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After seeing Hong Shu’s post about Xiao Xie, I thought of the Pang Mao incident, which has recently been brought up again by the media. What exactly is going on? Why does the story of a subordinate man in this patriarchal society who was scammed and then committed suicide cause such a big reaction among the middle class?
Because women are now increasingly aware that the essence of men below (men who pursue women) in dating is to engage in legal prostitution, they are less easily deceived. When men below see this phenomenon, they become furious, madly insulting women for not sleeping around with them, accusing them of “not giving enough money” or “pretending to be virtuous.” They originally wanted to use money and deception to get a family slave, and as they see their goals approaching, they become desperate. They then call those petty bourgeois men who give women money “turtle men” (龟男), criticizing them for “raising women too expensive.” Even when acting as licking dogs, men below use various methods, attempting to morally coerce women through small favors and monetary tactics in daily life. Once they succeed, their true nature is revealed. If the woman wants to break up, the man wants to recover his costs. It’s all about scheming and buying and selling goods. The incident with Fat Cat is like this: men below curse Fat Cat as a “licking dog doomed to a bad death” while insulting the woman as a “money-grabbing woman” aiming to harm him financially, all because their interests are touched. They seize upon the fact that the woman, after receiving money, opened a flower shop, and use the breakup with Fat Cat as evidence of PUA (Pick-Up Artist) tactics or scams to attack him furiously.
I am not clear about the specifics of the胖猫事件 (Fat Cat Incident) itself, as I haven’t studied the details. It seems I have heard that later it was revealed that his sister was spreading rumors, but I am not sure about the truth. However, the most important aspect of the胖猫事件 is not the incident itself, but its social impact, which is what you are asking about. China is a country where capitalist patriarchy oppression is extremely severe, and it is combined with reactionary religions like Confucianism, so women’s resistance is also very intense. Currently, fascist male chauvinism in China is very rampant; they exist to suppress women’s resistance and to maintain the stability of the patriarchal society of the Chinese revisionists. You can check this post: 关于所谓“男权”的牛鬼蛇神. Regarding the胖猫事件, based on the information exposed online, it involves several key elements: the man working and earning money for the woman; the man being overly “innocent” (here I must put quotes), and the woman not appreciating it, so the man “commits suicide for love.” These elements are seized upon by fascist male chauvinists, who then hype up public opinion, claiming that胖猫’s death proves that men are oppressed by women, that men have low social status and women have high social status, so men must fiercely fight back against women, which means further oppressing women and depriving women of social rights. This is the essence of fascist male chauvinism: they not only want to further tighten oppression on women who are already in a very low status, but also claim that men in the oppressed position are victims, women in the oppressed position are rulers, and that their actions under the guise of rebellion are actually oppressing. This is the most disgusting! So now many male chauvinists even claim to be Marxists; I have also seen many people in the leftist circles combine male chauvinist content with socialist propaganda posters and mentor quotes—it’s utterly disgusting! Therefore, in China’s bourgeois feminist circles, many women have emotionally realized that those who shout Marxism are often just men with low status, who shout about communism while watching pornography and masturbating. You can check the post of “Red Guard Number One” on the forum; he is a typical example—claiming to be a Marxist while shouting things like “it’s clogged” (making fun of the chain woman incident) and watching porn on P站 (Pornhub). So, the reason why the胖猫事件 became famous is that it fits the needs of male chauvinists to counterattack feminism. On Bilibili, the debate between Yang and Gongzhe Moxing (although Yang and Gongzhe himself is not very good) featured very typical male chauvinist remarks. He said that in marriage and family, men earn money for women, so men are exploited by women, and thus men have low status. He completely ignored who controls the economic resources, who is the head of the family, and who is the family slave.
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Today, during the reading club, I thought about how I had seen in previous books that under feudalism there was also feudal-like wage labor. What is the difference between this and capitalist wage labor? I always confuse these two concepts.
I’m ashamed… I was too sleepy during the reading club tonight, but mainly it’s because I wasn’t paying attention, so I didn’t understand the question you asked. 
Speaking of Xingwu, should we add an image to this post afterwards? It might look better ()
The main issue is that it’s too messy, and I don’t know what picture to match ()
Damn, during PE class I sent a message to my grandma to pick me up at the school gate for lunch (forgot to bring my exit permit), and ended up running into a girl from our class going to eat. Someone who is a bootlicker reported me for bringing my phone to the homeroom teacher. Now I’m explaining to my mom the pros and cons of bringing my phone.
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