That post is a bit long, so I opened a new one for easier reading and discussion.
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My suggestion is that you add an image to your post, which makes it look more attractive. I looked for a long time just now but couldn’t find a suitable one, so you can take a look yourself.
These people, apart from looking very organized, are indeed very fitting.
This week’s part-time job didn’t bring much gain; I kept making small mistakes when busy, such as not paying attention to takeout packaging or dine-in, forgetting whether the baked egg tarts were one or two, making more milk tea than needed, not noticing if the grilled wings were one serving or a pair, over-frying or under-frying chicken nuggets, butterfly shrimp, etc. I now really dislike the platform’s 0.01 exchange for one or two items, and the division into half portions, single portions, super-large satisfying servings, which really tests my eyesight. On Saturday morning, I basically didn’t make mistakes because it wasn’t too busy, and the manager even said I did well and didn’t make mistakes. I really thought that was praise, after all, I didn’t cause them trouble. But once it got busy, I, as a newbie, kept looking away, even though I tried hard to memorize and look carefully, I still kept making mistakes. At first, I thought I was too careless or that the division of labor wasn’t reasonable enough, but looking back, it was mostly because it was too busy, and during peak hours, everyone was basically nonstop. Their ability to avoid mistakes isn’t because they are more careful than me, but because they’ve gained experience through being exploited. If there was an extra person responsible for reminders and helping at different stations, such mistakes wouldn’t happen. Although the manager is mostly gentle and friendly to me, even when I make big mistakes, she calmly tells me what to do and shares some experience. But during especially busy times, I can see her impatience when I mess up or when I look clumsy after learning something multiple times, which indeed shatters the illusion that I could quickly become an all-rounder. The same goes for another staff member. However, my error rate was quite high for a while, and I can understand their frustration. I need to observe this further. On Sunday, the supervisor suddenly came for inspection, and we tacitly started to pretend. Things that are usually judged by feel were also weighed, and items that we didn’t want to report as loss were photographed and recorded. Of course, once the supervisor left, we returned to the more convenient way of working. I feel a bit guilty because my pizza was a bit ugly, and during busy times, another staff member kept making it, while I often didn’t have time for my snacks. That staff member often had to make pizza dough and rice together, which I could do but was slow because I wasn’t skilled. So I mainly took out prepared ingredients from the fridge or reheated things. The manager wasn’t lazy either; she handled ordering, packaging, serving, dealing with emergencies, answering calls, and preparing ingredients during breaks. When I cut my hand on an inconspicuous packaging shell and bled for three minutes, they immediately gave me a band-aid. Later, when I had to wash dishes, they arranged for me to do less water-related tasks and reminded me to be careful when handling such packaging. I don’t know how to analyze if there are other motives, but overall, I feel they are considering me. Missing the chicken wings means waiting longer, and by then, the delivery person was already waiting, looking a bit complicated. I sincerely apologized to him, and he said if it was really impossible, he could change the delivery order to make it faster, and he smiled. I felt even more sorry then. Due to being unproductive for a long time, I have little understanding or application of Marxism, which led to my inability to guide them to share experiences or understand their situation, let alone transmit any ideology. This needs to be taken seriously. The day shift and night shift have a three-hour break, and I initially planned to eat and then go to the bookstore to study, but after reading for a while, my mind and body started to want rest. I would aimlessly look at my phone or lie down to sleep. Starting this week, I need to plan my reading more systematically. The night before, I looked at the commuting time to punch in on time, and only then realized that it wasn’t a traffic jam situation; during weekends, it doubles during the day. I can’t be late for my first day of work, so I had to take a taxi. I used to spend an extra 20-30 yuan or more to sleep half an hour longer, but now I realize I don’t know where the money came from—it’s too horrible. Speaking of taxis, this time I bought coupons on the pop-up page, fixed for commuting locations. Although the purpose was to promote consumption, I calculated that paying once wasn’t a loss. But in the end, I found that the deducted amount didn’t decrease, so I researched why and saw that it said (limited to use from xx university to xx university). That’s when I remembered I set my school as the company and his school as home, which also reflected my past slave-like dependence on this relationship. Seeing this made me feel sad and angry, clenched my fists, and tears fell again. Thinking about coming to this city, although I seemed willing, I couldn’t avoid being deceived. The words ‘I will never leave you alone’ are really disgusting. Now, being here alone, I even have the feeling of being casually ‘abandoned’… I started to feel miserable again, unsure if these emotions are reasonable. The oppression I suffer is probably insignificant compared to most women, but these shouldn’t be compared at all. I should turn these into motivation for self-improvement, striving to reduce related incidents.
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你太天真了，店长完全就是把你当牛马，什么温柔友善也不过是利用你的另一种手段。暨和不会阶级分析，很容易就下意识充当了这种人的利用工具和奴才。我可以告诉你，所有的店长之流管理职的人，只要长期干下去或者能长期干下去的，没有一个是好东西。店长的阶级本质就是资产阶级的走狗，他的利益和资产阶级的利益是一致的，总要压榨直接劳动者为自己牟利。我们协会成员见过的恶心店长太多了，你是初出茅庐，还什么都不懂呢。
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Of course it is reasonable. Such specific examples should serve as a spear and sword pointing to the gender oppression in patriarchal society. But when you clenched your fists and tears fell again, it shows that more than anger from struggle, there is still self-pity. Just this is useless.
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I might need to feel her pressure more precisely to be more certain, but these past two days have indeed made me feel that she differs somewhat from my judgment last week. It seems that she only appears friendly because she doesn’t directly impact her interests.
It is like this: these people can only be the running dogs of the bourgeoisie under coercion and inducement. The performance of shop managers and supervisors is linked to the store’s income. The more income their store makes, the higher their performance bonus, and performance also constitutes a large part of their income. Moreover, without this performance bonus, their income is similar to that of ordinary staff. Therefore, in order to achieve performance targets, they will inevitably squeeze employees desperately, helping capitalists to exploit workers to death. Capitalists use material incentives to buy off workers in key positions, turning them into bourgeoisified worker aristocrats; this is inducement.
On the other hand, these people’s income is not distributed according to labor, but according to capital. Whether a shop manager or supervisor can get paid does not depend on how much they work, but on whether they can manage and pressure their subordinates to profit, and whether they can bring as much profit as possible to the capitalists. Then, the capitalists take a small proportion of the surplus value they exploit and give it to them. For example, a manager earns 8,000 yuan a month, with a guaranteed minimum of 4,000 yuan, and the remaining 4,000 yuan is performance bonus. This does not mean that if they do not manage or pressure workers and only do their own work, the capitalists will pay them 4,000 just because they work, or pay more than 4,000 because they work harder. Instead, they can choose to desperately manage and pressure workers to increase store income, and then the capitalists will consider them qualified dogs, so they not only give them a basic income of 4,000 yuan but also distribute 4,000 yuan from the store’s profits on top of that, making their total income 8,000 yuan; or they can oppress workers poorly, leading to poor store income, and the capitalists will think this dog is unqualified and will dismiss them, so they get nothing. It is clear that the reality is like this: the basic income of shop managers and supervisors has nothing to do with whether they work or how much they work. The capitalists decide whether to give this money based on their degree of oppression of workers, and the remaining performance bonus is proportional to their ability to oppress workers on the basis of their qualification to oppress, deducted from the surplus value, and distributed as residuals to these worker aristocrats. Therefore, this is coercion: shop managers and supervisors who do not manage or pressure workers will be fired, so in order to keep their high salaries, they have no choice but to manage and pressure workers.
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Not only do you dislike it, but many service industry workers, as long as they are not capitalists’ tame slaves, also dislike in-store activities. I also dislike these activities, especially since they increase the workload of staff on a daily basis, but do not increase their wages at all. The base salary remains the same, and wages based on hourly pay haven’t increased much. I used to work at a fast-food restaurant, which, due to collaborations with other sports events and activities, often had to deliver fast food in bulk, leading to a surge in our workload, but the wages didn’t increase by half a penny. I am quite dissatisfied with this. Now, due to the worsening economic depression in China, many sectors of the service industry are unable to sell their products, and they try every possible way to dump goods and squeeze employees—whether through bundling sales or collaborating with various nauseating second-dimensional or TV series merchandise. Those wealthy petty bourgeois who don’t touch spring water with their fingers are still delighted and obsessed, going crazy, unaware that every collaboration is a nightmare for employees. Seeing these peripherals just makes me angry and furious.
For these glib managers, saying a few good words doesn’t cost anything. For people whose wages are different from ordinary employees and whose status is different from other staff, you still need to be extremely cautious, just like many people above said. Their class background is ultimately different. When she praises you, it’s only for her own benefit, thinking that you didn’t cause trouble for her store’s operation. When trouble does arise, it’s not praise but blame and PUA (pick-up artist tactics) aimed at you. The people you encounter might not directly insult you, but they might use phrases like “Couldn’t you do it well from the start? Are you intentionally making mistakes? Do you know how much loss this causes to the store?” or use various unexpected Confucian tactics to mock or deceive you. The current conflicts might not have fully unfolded yet, but you should be extra cautious and prepared.
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I think Ji He could start a thread to record their learning and post reading notes.
I am preparing to separate life and theoretical study
It’s impossible to be gentle and friendly; these people are all old foxes. Being gentle and friendly is just their facade. They have long been rotten and腐臭 (corrupted) in the practice of being bourgeois scoundrels. I’ve encountered many supervisors who appear gentle and friendly on the surface. Many small bourgeoisie without social experience are easily deceived by such people, but the reality is that when you’re a good ox or horse, they can lower your class consciousness by pretending to be friendly with you. When you start slackening off or fighting back, they immediately reveal their fangs, using schemes and tricks or directly firing you.
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Agreed, even the boss would tacitly allow those flunkies to suppress the lower-level employees. When employees complain to her, she pretends to say a few words, making you think how good the boss is. If she later proposes some unreasonable work arrangements, you wouldn’t think they’re too unreasonable, but whether the working hours count or not depends entirely on her mood.
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My dad is also a person with strong Confucian ideas. Before he got married, he would only keep his own meal money and send the rest home to support his parents and to treat his older brother’s wife’s illness, even borrowing money to get married. He considers this filial piety, but in reality, he later spent very little time accompanying his parents, only providing financial care and some small talk.
I am not a traditional good child or obedient daughter. My dad values the authority of feudal parents quite a lot. Sometimes he uses these to suppress me, but I almost never listen and always argue back. He also loves to start issuing commands like a leader, and I usually roll my eyes at him and rebut most of what he says with what I think is meticulous logic, so he has to compromise. I suspect his employees are too afraid or lazy to contradict him, so he takes out his frustration on me. Most of our communication seems equal; everyone can give opinions, and often I am the one leading. All this has led me to believe that our relationship is equal, that I am justified in spending his money, and that how he treats me in the future will be how I treat him. This is clearly a relationship of interests, but I used to think this kind of exchange was reasonable.
In practice, I developed ideas like “Why should I tolerate, why should I listen to you, why should I pretend to be sensible,” which is actually consistent with what Fenghuo said yesterday: “You agree with the bourgeois feminism and feel good about yourself.” I used to think I had to live this way; as long as I didn’t harm others’ interests, I shouldn’t suffer grievances. But in fact, my class itself is continuously harming others, though I never realized it.
He always tells me, “As long as you can support yourself and live a good life, that’s enough. If the old man runs out of food, just give me a bowl of porridge.” Hearing this, I still roll my eyes at him as usual. Although I had some doubts in the past, overall I was proud and even thought he was willing to give me those freedoms. These were the sweet things I thought mostly.
Once, we talked about bride price and dowry, and he joked that he’s not selling his daughter, so he doesn’t want any bride price. I forget his exact words about the dowry, but I thought he was quite progressive at the time.
I am indeed the kind of person who forgets pain once the scar heals, and who ignores harsh words, letting anger pass through one ear and out the other. Many incidents flash in my mind like this. I remember I was also beaten twice; I don’t remember the reasons, but probably because I was very “disobedient,” truly threatening his feudal authority. The first time, I said it hurt a lot, apologized, and begged him not to hit me anymore. The second time, I looked at the increasing red marks from the clothes hanger with a blank face and didn’t make a sound. The process was short, so short that I hardly felt the pain, just observing him vent his anger. Afterwards, he didn’t apologize but just asked if I was hurt, touched the marks, and bought something to please me. I thought I would never listen to him again, but I quickly forgot. I didn’t know how to resist back then; I thought silence was the best resistance. It’s truly servile, but I still don’t know what I could do in such specific situations.
He always says, “As long as you pass the exams, I will support you no matter how much it costs.” He always says that education isn’t the most important thing, but ability is, and he has many under his command even with college or graduate degrees. Even then, I realized he was bragging again, justifying exploitation. He also constantly encourages me to study hard and get into a good university, and from a young age, he encouraged me to earn money in various ways, fearing I wouldn’t enter the exploiters’ ranks. Of course, his confusing words are not meant to make me suffer, but he never wants me to be wronged. Just like he always says I choose my own life, but he subtly arranges everything for me early on. If I hadn’t gotten into high school, he might have had to accept me becoming an ordinary person he considers normal. But the bourgeoisie is insatiable, evident everywhere. When he found out I might not get into a top university, he pushed me towards 92 (referring to a university score line). I remember clearly after the admission results came out, seeing the deep water in the college entrance exam, even some buying certificates, I told him. I thought he would criticize this phenomenon, but his first reaction was “I knew, I would have bought it for you too.” I was shocked but didn’t know what to say, so I tentatively asked him, “Ten thousand yuan, you’re willing to buy, what about tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands?” He silently shut his mouth. At that time, only one or half of the three factory areas in our family were left. Thinking back now, it was just about spending some money he thought was worth it to buy a daughter from a 211 university to save face.
Materially, I was hardly ever treated unfairly. He always “self-sacrifices” and gives me the best, second only to himself. I do feel this is a kind of warmth, but I also find this self-sacrificing love disgusting, even begging him not to make my scalp crawl. It seems like sacrifice, but more often it’s because many things are indifferent to him. If I were more willing to be manipulated by him, wouldn’t I gain more by giving a little? He also always smiles and says, “It’s okay, I’m just that stock that keeps turning green.” Oh my! I used to think this was quite funny, but now I see it as treating me as an investment, also expressing that because there’s warmth between us, he’s willing to pay any cost. At the same time, when I make him very unhappy, he also says, “What you eat, wear, and live on is all given by me.” Clearly, he wants to control me with money.
Next, I will talk about mom, grandpa, and grandma.
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He has become a capitalist, so his workers under him, if they dare to oppose him, will be fired, will be dealt with by him. The reason you can argue with him without issue is one, because you yourself are a bourgeois lady, also a member of the bourgeoisie, and more importantly, you are part of his family. When you argue with him, of course he won’t treat you the same as he treats workers. Another reason is that you haven’t touched on his core interests; he can accept concessions on small matters to deceive you. But when it comes to major issues, he will tear his face and show his true colors. I have some understanding of this myself; my family is like this. They might make concessions on small matters, but on big issues like education and career, they will insist at all costs.
Actually, this is the temper of bourgeois young masters and misses, and it is also using bourgeois ideas to oppose bourgeois ideas. I used to have similar views about my own parents, but in fact, that is ineffective. You seem to be “making trouble,” but in reality, you are still being manipulated by your parents. Monkey King cannot jump out of the Five Finger Mountain because you are already tightly controlled economically by them. The economic base determines the superstructure; what you eat, drink, wear, and play are all provided by them. The final say on what school you attend, what job you get, and whom you marry is still theirs. If you want to maintain a parasitic life, you can’t refuse their support. Living a self-reliant, impoverished worker’s life is impossible. This is similar to many colonial countries’ bourgeois revolutions—they fought against foreign capitalism in military and political terms, but economically, they could not break free from dependence. Once the national economy is controlled by foreign capitalism, it will ultimately turn back into a colony. The struggle with parents is the same; fighting over these is useless if you don’t fight for economic independence. In the end, it will be a return to the pre-liberation state, subject to their control. Therefore, rooting out parasitic ideas is crucial, just like after the victory of the democratic revolution, continuing the socialist revolution to the end. The principles are the same.
This idea is too naive. How can the bourgeoisie truly treat their daughters well? They are still going to sell their daughters just like others. Your father’s so-called no bride price just means he won’t straightforwardly ask for money like petty bourgeoisie and small capitalists. But in reality, marriage itself is a political activity—marriage is an alliance, a union. Who you marry is ultimately decided by your father. For “business cooperation,” he might force you to marry the son of a “partner.” Isn’t there still bride price? The money is just less obvious; your father is using it as a tool to expand his capital through marriage.
You should resist, fight back with words and actions. My parents used to beat me often—spanking when I was young, then hitting with a belt and a ruler as I got older. At first, I was afraid and didn’t dare resist. Later, after reading Mao’s Selected Works and seeing that we must dare to struggle, I became passionate. I even took a knife to oppose them, injured my mother, and eventually provoked the police, but nothing serious happened. After that, they gradually changed their attitude and stopped hitting me.
My parents also say similar things. On the surface, they seem indifferent about my future, saying they love me and so on, but when it comes to important matters like which university I attend, they are very strict. They insist I must become bourgeois, work hard to get a good education, and justify it as “for my own good,” claiming it’s “voluntary,” which is very reactionary. I used to have poor grades and probably couldn’t get into a good university, but later, my parents helped me get into a school that was not very prestigious but accepted students with money, so I “lucked” into university. If they really didn’t care whether I pursued education or not, why go through all this trouble? It’s just the bourgeoisie’s double standards—saying one thing and doing another.
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The bourgeoisie of course doesn’t need this bride price; they are not petty bourgeoisie, so they don’t need to sell their daughters. They can let their daughters inherit the family estate and then have the man move in, or marry them off to some bourgeois partner for political marriage. Anyway, the bourgeoisie has plenty of ways. His words are not because he’s enlightened, but because he is bourgeois.
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I think you’re overdoing it. This is not self-sacrifice at all, but him giving you his indifferent stuff and then feeling self-pity. How could you believe it? You’ve been completely deceived! No wonder you were PUA’d by暨和
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Revealing his true nature, isn’t it? Hasn’t Zhongwei Ge Li already said? Parents from the bourgeoisie family treat their children like stocks! And he definitely doesn’t really believe that it’s okay if you don’t get a return; he’s just joking and sarcastic.
In fact, if the bourgeoisie is engaged in exploiting employees’ lives, they also cannot be truly kind to their wives and daughters in practice. Like the character in the TV series “Kuang Biao” who is a typical bourgeois figure—on one hand, ruthless and willing to kill, and on the other hand, a loving husband and father—such a three-dimensional character does not exist. The nature of things is determined by the main aspect of the primary contradiction. The idea of a three-dimensional character is to see people as divided into good and bad, but since your father is a bourgeois, all his actions are guided by bourgeois worldview. Since he relies on running factories to exploit workers and sustain his parasitic life, he would naturally want to extract benefits from you as well. Just as he might say, “It doesn’t matter if the stock turns green.” How can a person who normally harms others, profits from selfishness, and exploits others, not see you as a tool to extract benefits just because of blood relations? The same applies to the store manager you met before—it’s impossible for him to be kind to his subordinates. I suggest you learn more about the labor disputes in your father’s factory, how they use labor discipline to oppress workers, and see what their true face as exploiters looks like. This will help you better understand your father’s true nature.
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Actually, when I was a child, I was beaten a lot by my family (because I didn’t do well in school and was often reported by teachers). When I was outstanding, it even escalated to physical fights; I fought with my father using a chair. As a result, my parents’ beating of me did not stop. Later, after I adopted a pragmatic approach to my studies, my grades improved, and my parents rekindled their hopes for pragmatic success. So they became unreasonable in insulting me when I was inattentive in my studies, and at the same time continued to support me. This did not really free me from the oppression of a feudal family; instead, I became more mentally and physically deteriorated during long-term parasitic living. Later, after studying Marxism, I learned that the working class is the most revolutionary and has the brightest future; this society can only have life when the working class is the main force.
Therefore, in February of this year (during the New Year), my parents were extremely barbaric in helping me find a match. I happened to have some money on me (from my previous internship wages), and after several days of angrily criticizing my parents for their barbarity, I roughly expressed that their actions were driven by selfishness to inherit wealth, disregarding whether I truly loved the other person or whether the other person’s disgusting act of selling their daughter was right, as if they wanted to tie me and the other person together. So one noon, I directly took my suitcase and left. Using my savings, I found a job in a factory. Now I feel that I have truly gained freedom in this life; besides frequent phone calls from my parents begging me to return home, they also send messages on WeChat begging me to come back. I have also started to abstain from low-level pleasures and began self-improvement through labor.
Therefore, fundamentally, to solve the oppression of patriarchal families, the only way is to become independent from the family. There is no other method. This is especially important for暨和 because women have no inheritance rights and will inevitably be sold out. Moreover, your father is a bourgeoisie, and he will surely calculate carefully how much he can earn by selling his daughter. Such people, in the cutthroat capitalist competition of the bourgeoisie, will also develop a two-faced style of “saying nice things face-to-face and poisoning behind the back.”
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