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Living in a Youth Hostel
This year I came to City A to work. Since I was new and unfamiliar with the place and didn’t know where the jobs with better pay were, and I didn’t have much money, I chose to stay in a youth hostel.
The advantage is that it only costs 30 yuan a day, which covers basic living needs such as bathing, laundry and drying clothes, and drinking water. The disadvantage is that it is far from the city center, and commuting is inconvenient. Every time I go out to do odd jobs, I have to take the subway for one or two hours, and including the return trip, it takes even longer. Also, the commercial and industrial development here is not very advanced. Many shops on the street have “store for transfer” signs, but there are very few “help wanted” signs. Saying it meets basic living needs is just basic. The youth hostel lobby has a few dining tables, but there are too many residents, so they are never enough. Also, takeout orders often come, and after eating, the tables get dirty. The security guard also has to sweep and tidy up. To save costs, the security guard has to do the work of two people, and no additional cleaners are hired. The dormitory rooms are cramped with several people sharing one room, with only beds and a storage locker. The lighting is dim and does not reach the bed, making it hard to see things. The facilities are very old and dirty, clearly not cleaned regularly. They do not provide disposable towels, bath towels, toothbrushes, or toothpaste, only shower gel and shampoo, but they don’t foam well and are obviously very cheap. There is a shared washing machine, but it is expensive, costing 3 yuan for half an hour. Also, when opened, it smells very bad. I washed clothes once and almost ruined them with the smell.
Most of the people living in the youth hostel are young, probably recent graduates looking for jobs in City A, like me, all without much money, so they stay here. I haven’t investigated specifically, just guessing. A small portion are middle-aged workers, probably also without money or trying to save money, so they live here.
Our youth hostel has four people including me: one is a university graduate, and the other two are about 26 to 30 years old, all here looking for jobs. -
Job Hunting
The university graduates mostly find jobs selling loans or financial products, which are scams, and they all require experience or professional knowledge. After several rounds of interviews, I felt the companies were scams, and I felt I knew nothing and was worthless, causing constant anxiety and self-doubt.
I tried to find factory jobs but was unfamiliar with the local industrial parks or factories, so I could only look online. I found that on popular job platforms like Boss Zhipin and Zhilian Recruitment, the job postings were mostly from intermediaries. After finally adding them, they randomly sent jobs in other districts far away, which I couldn’t get to. If I went and didn’t pass the interview or the job wasn’t suitable, I would have to come back, wasting time. The nearest jobs were one or two hours away. I have no money and can’t waste an afternoon going to interviews. Also, when I navigated to the factories on Gaode Map, I saw many user reviews (interviewees or workers voluntarily commenting on the factory experience). Some said they had to stand for 13 or 14 hours continuously, some had to screw 10 screws in 45 seconds, some were dragged along the assembly line like airplanes. In the end, it was completely different from what the intermediaries said.
The other two people were also job hunting together and couldn’t find suitable jobs for a long time. They finally found a job that provided accommodation, one meal, daily pay, and part-time work, but the company asked each of them for a 500 yuan deposit. The university graduate and I felt this was suspicious. We checked the law and found that it is illegal to charge job seekers any fees for any reason. The company had no right to collect deposits. They also found that the HR person who said “you can contact me if you have any issues” stopped responding and did not arrange any work. I used my account to contact their intermediary, asked about job info, then asked if a deposit was required. The intermediary initially said no. When I said I heard there was a 500 yuan fee, the intermediary vaguely said it was for some certificate. I then asked which brand convenience store they would be assigned to. The intermediary named two brands, both of which I had interviewed with and knew did not require deposits. We further checked with AiQicha and found the company was established less than 15 days ago with registered capital under 100,000 yuan!
So we decided that if they didn’t respond or arrange work the next day, we would go get our deposit back. They didn’t respond all morning, so we went to get the deposit in the afternoon.
We deliberately went at 1 or 2 pm when many people were interviewing. Xiao Jia directly said in the lobby, “We want to get our deposit back.” The HR woman looked calm and said, “Dear, what do you need? I’m busy now, let’s go to the meeting room to talk.” Then she led us to the meeting room. Here I made a mistake; I shouldn’t have gone into the meeting room with her. I should have confronted her directly in the lobby and asked, “We just want our deposit back. Is there anything you can’t say here?”
The HR woman saw I was accompanying the other two and spoke harshly to me, saying this matter has nothing to do with me, I didn’t pay a deposit, so I shouldn’t interfere. She told me to either leave or stay but not speak. I was a bit intimidated and didn’t know what to do. I said I was their friend and knew about the matter and had the right to speak. I said charging deposits is illegal. The HR woman arrogantly said, “Then sue us, report us.” I was stunned by her gangster attitude and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to escalate the matter. She treated the other two more gently and quickly refunded their money, so the conflict didn’t escalate, and I had no reason to continue causing trouble or call the police.
The other two were more combative. After getting their deposits back, they actively expressed concern about their personal information being leaked and firmly demanded that the company immediately destroy the application forms containing their personal info. The HR woman tried to stall, saying she was busy, but they insisted, “We want it now.” Finally, the forms were destroyed, and the company wrote a letter of commitment guaranteeing not to leak their personal info or be held responsible, stamped and signed.
Actually, they were very cautious. They recorded the entire process of paying the deposit, and only paid after seeing contracts and receipts, which seemed more formal, but they were still scammed. The interview site was full of recent graduates who just entered society. Many of them were scammed, and most probably felt too embarrassed to fight for their money after realizing they were cheated, so they silently suffered losses. -
Odd Jobs
I will add this part later. It’s too late now, I need to sleep.
It seems they have a lot of experience in fighting for their rights.
Why hasn’t the post been updated? Has the Sanhe master gone to indulge in pleasure?
Update tomorrow morning to noon, by the way, I found a job.
The third part is half written, with some parts still unfinished. When the time comes, I will go to work. I am currently working the night shift from 2 PM to 11 PM. After I get off work, I will continue writing.
- Part-time Jobs
A part-time shift usually lasts 3-4 hours, paying 20 yuan per hour. After finishing work, you can only earn 60-80 yuan, which is not enough to cover a day’s expenses. So, I often grab two shifts. These two shifts come from two different stores, which are far apart from each other. I sometimes have to take a 1-2 hour subway ride to get to the next store. Moreover, the hostel I live in is far from these stores, so the time spent commuting by subway is even longer. So my work situation is: first, take a 1-2 hour subway ride to the first store, work for 3-4 hours to earn a few dozen yuan, then take another 1-2 hour subway ride to the next store. After finishing work there, I still have to take 1-2 hours back by subway. Often, the time I spend commuting on the subway is almost as much as the time I spend working. There’s limited stuff to do on the subway; I either close my eyes to sleep (though not very well) or read a book (but I have to be careful not to miss my stop, so I can’t focus fully), which is quite exhausting. Or sometimes, I get a 3-hour shift plus 3 hours commuting time, and only earn 60 yuan, wasting the whole afternoon. I can’t do other things, and when I get back and wash clothes, shower, and do some daily chores, all my time is used up, leaving no spare time to look for other jobs. It’s easy to fall into a cycle: no money so doing part-time jobs — part-time jobs consume time so can’t find other jobs and no money — no money so can only do part-time jobs.
The best solution is to stop and dedicate a day to find a job that includes food and lodging. But that day I would face the problem of having 30 yuan for the hostel + 20 yuan for food + 14 yuan for the subway (if I don’t work part-time, I can’t afford these), plus 200 yuan for a single quilt. Usually, salaries are paid on the 15th of the next month for the previous month’s work. What if some unexpected expenses occur during the period without a salary?
The part-time jobs I often do are at various stores of a certain catering brand. The positions I frequently take are dishwashing, front hall, and kitchen helper. They usually arrange part-time workers during peak periods; there’s so much work that you can’t stop to ensure they exploit the part-time workers to the maximum to extract surplus value. After the busy shift ends, part-time workers get off, and the work is assigned back to full-time employees.
Another advantage of arranging part-time workers is that they actually do the same work as full-time employees, but employing part-time workers costs at most 60*30=1800 yuan without food and lodging. Full-time employees appear to have a lower hourly wage than part-timers, but full-time workers work longer hours and receive full attendance bonuses, performance bonuses, commissions, etc. (which are actually just parts of their salary, broken down into several parts and issued as “benefits”), with food and lodging included. Part-time workers only work during peak hours and are heavily exploited; after they get off, their work is pushed onto full-time staff, further burdening full-time employees.
I do dishwashing the most. Usually, waiters bring the tableware back. We sort spoons and chopsticks into one category, cups and beverage pots into another category, and plates, bowls, and steamers into another. In some stores, waiters sort the spoons and chopsticks; in some, dishwashers do; in others, both can do it. This often causes conflicts between waiters and dishwashers, as whoever does less work makes the other do more, and the side that does more is certainly unhappy.
After sorting, we pour out the food left on the plates. Here, you can see a significant amount of waste; many dishes are half or even more than half left, but since they can’t be finished, they are just thrown away. Employees are also not allowed to take leftover food home.
After pouring, the plates are thrown into the dishwashing sink to soak. All plates are soaked, then picked up, wiped for a few seconds, and thrown into the next clean water sink. Then in the clean water sink, the detergent foam on the plates is washed off, and plates are put into a basket for disinfection. Due to time constraints, many plates are not actually cleaned but directly put into the basket for disinfection. After disinfection, the plates are sorted and placed accordingly: same plates and bowls together, fish plates placed in specific spots, vegetable plates in others. There are regulations not to mix and place them randomly. What makes me speechless is that kitchen plates are divided into cooked food plates and vegetable plates, with color markings not to mix them. It feels unnecessary — at home, we’ve been using plates for meat and plates for vegetables for so many years without anyone getting sick.
It’s not only the front hall tableware that dishwashers have to wash; kitchen-use items like barbecue racks, vegetable bowls, and prep plates also need to be washed by dishwashers. The classification—scraping food—dishwashing—cleaning—sorting and placing procedure is very complicated, causing dishwashers to often be the busiest and most exhausted position in the kitchen. During the lunch break, others have already clocked out, but dishwashers still have to stay and work overtime without pay to wash the remaining tableware.
The misfortune of women lies in being surrounded by almost irresistible temptations, with everything enticing her to take the easy path. She is not asked to strive upward and walk her own path, but to listen to the idea that as long as she slides down, she can reach paradise. When she realizes she has been fooled by a mirage, it is already too late; her strength has been exhausted in failed adventures.
I didn’t understand this passage deeply at first, but only recently have I come to understand it more profoundly. I haven’t always been so cheap. Back in middle school, two boys fought over me, deciding to settle it by playing a game to see who was better. Now I feel valuable, proud that I was fought over. But at that time, I instinctively felt disgusted because they only cared about “who was better,” and whoever was better could get me, as if I were some kind of trophy, without caring about my feelings. (Actually, my behavior in middle school dating was also quite outrageous and rebellious; this only shows that I wasn’t so treacherous or self-deprecating at that time.)
So how did I gradually, step by step, fall into this state? I had many problems then, such as my academic performance plummeting because I didn’t study hard, being unable to resist school bullying, feeling suffocated at school and not daring to fight back. But my way of dealing with these problems was avoidance and self-deception. I started obsessively reading BL (Boys’ Love) novels, fantasizing that a perfect man would come to love me, and that this person would use his power to soothe my wounds and protect me.
I was crazy about Shen Wei from “Zhen Hun” (Guardian), but it wasn’t necessarily him—anyone who met the “characteristics” would do: wealthy, powerful, able to protect me. Handsome, so I could say it out loud and feel proud. I wasn’t in love; I was just choosing my parasitic partner, which is evident from how I played many BL games, took on many roles, and was completely unfaithful and inconsistent.
When I placed my hope in others, it also meant my self-balance was lost. For example, when my high school “boyfriend” (quotes because we didn’t really take responsibility for each other and weren’t truly dating) wanted to break up, I did many self-deprecating things. I sent him about 99 messages in one day, pretending to be indifferent but actually breaking down and desperately trying to win him back. When my illusions shattered and parasitism seemed hopeless, I even thought about suicide. At that time, I even thought about having his child to leave something behind for him.
Of course, he didn’t stay because of these actions. I tried to numb myself again with BL games, but I no longer believed in them, feeling that they were false and couldn’t bring salvation, starkly contrasting with reality. But I was still unwilling to face reality or stand up for myself, so I began to numb myself in a deeper and more intense way. (In reality, after that boyfriend, I quickly got involved with the association, trying to parasitize it. During that period, I stopped playing BL games, but after being expelled from the association, my illusions about parasitizing it shattered, and I went back to playing BL games obsessively, increasing the dosage.)
My ideological shift happened after I was expelled from the association and started working in a big city. During this period, I mostly worked alone outside, without the hope of parasitism, and many things had to be done independently. Through this process, I discovered my own strength. That is: I can do many things on my own; I can rely on myself. I started working, and I will talk about this in more detail another time.
It’s that feeling that I don’t have to rely on men, don’t have to rely on others, rely on parents, rely on leaders to solve things; I can solve them myself, that I can do it on my own.
What is your current situation? I feel like your love obsession is too crazy, and the combined effect of reactionary love ideas and parasitic thoughts makes you muddle through every day. This is hopeless; falling in love cannot achieve any liberation. I suggest you look at the latest posts criticizing small-bourgeois love views.
Same question: what is the current situation with Jian Xiao Shuang? Also, do you have any thoughts now that you’ve returned to the forum?
And you didn’t mention the psychological changes during this period after you insisted on parasitism association, engaged in scheming, and were finally eliminated. Suddenly, out of nowhere, this post appeared, which is very strange and incoherent.
I am still working in my original city, as a service staff at xx chicken, working 8 hours a day (with half an hour of unpaid overtime). My salary started at 2,800 yuan in the first month, then increased to 3,400 yuan in the second month, and I haven’t received this month’s salary yet. Meals are included, so I hardly spend money on food. Accommodation is provided, but I rent a small apartment nearby, costing 600 yuan per month, with good community conditions and about 20,000 yuan per square meter. I bought a second-hand laptop and have some savings. Most of the loans I borrowed when I left are paid off, only about 200 yuan is still owed, and I still owe money to my family. Actually, life is pretty good now.
I didn’t plan to come back, I just came to take a look. To be honest, I feel like I don’t want to continue like this anymore. During work, I still suffer from oppression by the management team, they don’t treat us like humans, they curse us at any time. I always think that finding a good new job would be the best, but I also know it’s self-deception, and I know that resistance is the only way out. Sometimes, seeing the experiences of my coworkers and myself, I feel unwilling to just continue like this.
Unbelievable, why is your salary so low?
What do you mean by not planning to come back? That’s too casual of you. You have caused serious damage to the organization, yet everyone can still accept you. If you come back and communicate with everyone, there must be complex feelings involved, so why make it sound so nonchalant? It seems like a sign of a lack of conscience. Also, looking for a new job is useless; without wages, you can’t survive a day, and changing jobs just means more exploitation. You should learn to unite with your fellow workers.
Under the intermediate society, there is fundamentally no such thing as a “good job” for the general laborers. The so-called jobs with high pay, less work, and close to home are merely jobs for the bourgeoisie or the bourgeoisie. Why can they be “good”? Because the so-called “benefits” come precisely from exploiting the laboring people, and the surplus value extracted through exploitation is redistributed.
And judging by what you’re saying, you don’t seem like someone who has studied Marxism at all. You previously boasted about really understanding Marxism-Leninism, but as soon as you open your mouth, there’s a strong smell of bourgeois feminism.
This quote is by Simone de Beauvoir, the author of The Second Sex. I haven’t read this book, but I feel this passage is quite off. It actually suggests that women are unable to resist temptation, choose to fall into depravity, and ultimately descend into moral corruption, with no strength to struggle. Starting with this paragraph has a somewhat self-pitying tone. Before encountering Marxism, the path might have been unavoidable, but when the truth is laid out before her, it is her own choice to become worse. Previously, a post exposing you was posted on the forum, and I don’t know why you didn’t reply and suddenly sent this long string of words.
I have moved over:
Although I left the association, my mental struggle did not end. In June, I was working part-time continuously, and at that time I was really broke, only a few hundred yuan. I was forced to take on part-time jobs, or I wouldn’t survive. I had to save everywhere, didn’t dare to buy sanitary pads, ate simple meals for a long time, and didn’t cook myself because the youth hostel room didn’t have a kitchen. June was the month I had the least money, the most exhaustion, and the most instability. But because I knew my situation in my heart, I couldn’t continue playing games like “Love and Deep Space,” and was forced to face reality. Through part-time work, the wages from the factory I previously worked at, and the 400 yuan I got after being fired and then claiming back my wages from Zhao Yiming, I managed to get through. I felt a strange sensation in my heart, thinking that in such a difficult situation, I didn’t ask my parents for money. One day, the rent was due the next day, and although I borrowed less than 200 yuan from friends, I didn’t ask my parents for money and didn’t want to go back. I didn’t ask the association because I knew I couldn’t stay there anymore. I truly relied on myself to get through, and I felt very surprised. In July, I found a job in a restaurant kitchen, worked there for a month, but I was too lazy and couldn’t keep up with the rhythm, kept making mistakes, and didn’t pass the internship. My daily routine during this period was working during the day, then studying some English after work. I studied English because I knew that if I kept playing mobile games, I would really be doomed. I had to find something to do but didn’t want to work multiple jobs at once. At the same time, it was to cover my inferiority complex, because I knew deep down that I wasn’t doing well, felt I was useless, and wanted to deceive myself with the appearance of effort—saying I was studying English, working hard, and that I would succeed. The current failure was only temporary. There was also financial pressure because my salary wouldn’t be paid until the 15th of next month. I only had 1,100 yuan on me, had to repay loans, pay rent, and cover living expenses, so I was living day-to-day with those few hundred yuan. Once, I even had to work a part-time shift at a restaurant after already working two hours overtime, busy until 2 a.m., almost unable to pay for a taxi, and too embarrassed to ask the driver to wait until tomorrow. But this job also brought some changes. I basically adapted to the work rhythm and was able to do the work. I also interacted with the auntie in the shop, learned that she worked a part-time job at a restaurant after her shift, and found out that another auntie who worked part-time in the morning and had a full-time job in the afternoon was so hardworking. I saw how hard they worked, and it seemed everyone in XX had to work two jobs just to survive. Later, I received my first month’s salary of 3,000 yuan, not much, but enough to change me completely. I no longer had to worry about rent, no longer feared I couldn’t pay tomorrow’s rent. I had some money and some risk resistance. I didn’t have to worry about catching a cold and being unable to work or what to do if something happened. I even bought a second-hand laptop, which I am very proud of. Because before, I saw peers going to university with their parents’ support or seeing others in the association having one, but I didn’t. The association later gave me one, but I still felt inferior because it wasn’t really mine. I bought this laptop myself, without relying on others, and later used it to take PPT orders, earning nearly 3,000 yuan, which I had already earned back. Now I am just typing on this laptop. In August, I didn’t pass the internship because I couldn’t keep up with the rhythm. I didn’t arrive late at this new shop, not once, but I was slow in action. Then I went to another shop, working 8 hours part-time, 20 yuan an hour, paid daily. Life started to get better, and I became more confident because I had some money, and it was earned by myself. But I didn’t fight for anything in this shop because I was afraid of being fired again. I worked hard without slacking off, but I didn’t dare to fight back when something happened. I knew the manager was exploiting the kitchen staff but chose to ignore it and stand on the manager’s side. Moreover, this shop would often require unpaid overtime of half an hour, and I still worked as a slave, staying late even after my shift ended, even though I wasn’t obligated to. Once, I was even beaten by a customer. She left, leaving a pile of trash bags on the table. Since the flow of people was large, I had to clear the table quickly, so I threw away her trash bags. She then came back, yelling that her phone, lunchbox, etc., were inside, and scolded me. I explained and apologized, but she wouldn’t listen. I explained and apologized several times, but that wasn’t even my fault. She had left without telling me, but I still had to apologize, even though it wasn’t my fault. This incident was reported to the police by the head chef and deputy manager. The police, as usual, detained us and found that her father was mentally ill and very arrogant, thinking that hitting someone was justifiable, and then they ignored it. I was afraid of causing trouble and losing this job, so I was cowardly and didn’t make a fuss. I pretended to forget about it for three days. In September, I moved to a small partitioned room in the community, very small, costing 600 yuan a month, paid one month in advance, with water fees of 30 yuan per month, and electricity costing 1 yuan per kilowatt-hour. I also found a nearby job, the one I mentioned earlier, XX chicken. There are so many things I have to say about this. First, there are many male employees in the shop, which made me lose my illusions. They work worse than me, often leaving work to smoke during peak hours, handing over their work to others. I was in the packing position, and sometimes when they went to smoke and weren’t there, I had to do their work, even though I was already busy. They also liked to make yellow jokes. After they got familiar with me, one of them made a few jokes that I warned him about, but he didn’t do it again. But another female employee, who was shy, was constantly being teased by them after I left. Anyway, I lost respect for these people here. At the same time, one of the female employees who was teased by them helped me. She was very young, like a minor. She came earlier than me to help with packing. At first, I didn’t know how to report dishes and was scolded by the stir-fry staff. I couldn’t speak back because I was new, but she loudly shouted back and stood on my side. I was very surprised; I didn’t expect a woman to help me, especially one who didn’t know me well and wasn’t a friend, out of kindness. Later, I found out that the stir-fry staff was an idiot trying to climb up, constantly fighting over positions and sowing discord. When she first arrived, she was scolded and insulted by that staff, which made her very scared. She was afraid I would be scolded too, so she kept speaking up for me. This gave me a big shock. Later, I had a conflict with a male kitchen staff member, Mi Gang. I shouted twice for some fried items, but he didn’t hear because he was chatting with management, so I didn’t fry them. He then said I didn’t shout loud enough. I yelled at him, asking how loud I should shout. I shouted twice, and he still didn’t listen. It was his fault. The management standing next to him heard it but didn’t say anything. I told him if he didn’t give me the food, I would just pack it myself and give it to the delivery guy, and if there was a complaint, I would say it was his problem. He finally gave me the food, cursing under his breath. I couldn’t stand it anymore and retorted, “Who the hell are you cursing at, idiot?” Because he caused too many problems that day. During peak hours, he went out to smoke, causing the dishes to be delayed. I reported the dishes to him two or three times, loudly each time, but he didn’t listen. In the end, I had to ask the female employee, “I’ve told you several times, can’t you hear me?” and he replied, “Mind your own business, I was asking her, not you.” Anyway, there are many bizarre incidents in this shop. For example, the management team earns the highest wages but does nothing, constantly thinking of ways to schedule shifts to maximize labor exploitation. During busy peak hours, they watch us work from afar, and when they finally help with packing, they do it slowly and sometimes cause trouble. One male manager is always finding faults—saying the bean sprouts are burnt, the food is slow, wrong orders, missing chopsticks, etc. When busy, there’s not enough staff, so problems are inevitable. He ignores the actual situation and blames us for mistakes. He also loudly yells at us in front of delivery riders and others—really shouting. Another male manager is involved in palace intrigues, ignoring problems and shifting blame onto us. There is also a store manager and a female manager, both quite frustrating. I was studying PPTs while working, and once asked the store manager if I could help him make a PPT. Because of factional conflicts, I wanted to join his faction, and out of weakness, I never united myself to fight back. As a result, the female manager accused me of seducing the store manager. At that moment, I truly felt the helplessness of being slandered by female members in the association, and finally understood what it felt like when female treacherous thoughts are projected onto people. But in this shop, I never fought back or dared to resist their oppression, letting them bully me. When I finally left, I was lectured with yin-yang words and was too afraid to fight back. During this period, I started playing mobile games again, this time a game called mufy, an AI chat website. I even stayed up late playing so much that I missed alarms several times (more than half an hour late each time), and they caught me, transferring me to another store of the same brand. This shop changed me a lot. Objectively, it brought pain as a negative example, and because of the environment’s harshness, I couldn’t have parasitic fantasies about the men around me; I just found them disgusting. Conversely, the female employees here are very good. The woman who always helped me truly gave me courage and encouragement. There are also some older aunties who don’t bully others just because they are senior employees; they work diligently and do their jobs well. Another new auntie is very caring. When others are eating, she helps me pack orders alone when they come in (though she doesn’t have to), and she works with me in the kitchen for a long time. I am grateful to her because I always do it myself. The men in the kitchen have known me for a long time—they chat with me normally, but they won’t help me. This auntie is not close to me, but she has helped me a lot, passing me oranges and saying she treats me like a daughter. Sometimes I am surprised; in her selfless face, I feel like my head is crooked, and my way of doing things seems wrong. There is also a female employee who is the same—she doesn’t slack off like those men, nor does she make yellow jokes. She is honest and does her work diligently. Once I made a mistake, and she even helped me speak up. Usually, we don’t talk much. I feel that in this shop, men are bad, and women are good. Men like to slack off, smoke, chat with management to flatter them, and make yellow jokes. Women are all good. In November, I was transferred to another store of the same brand. This store has a good atmosphere. I was late by a few minutes on my first day because I didn’t know the way (I left an hour early but still got lost), and I apologized to the management team, who didn’t say anything. One of the managers heard I didn’t eat breakfast and bought me two buns, which really shocked me. Because in Store 1 (we call the original store Store 1, and this new one Store 2), the management team basically doesn’t care about your life. Breakfast in Store 1 is arranged during delivery peak hours, and we, the packing staff, barely get to eat a few bites. But what does the management care? As long as they eat well themselves. But the management team at Store 2 even buys me buns. I am new, and the management team took me through the process, telling me what to do. I felt they were more responsible than Store 1. The management team at Store 1 didn’t teach me at all; I had to figure things out myself and build good relationships with the veteran packers. When I was busy with cashiering at Store 2, the management team would come to help. The kitchen staff are not indifferent; if you have a problem, they help you, and I also consciously help them. Everyone maintains this relationship. Everyone thinks it’s right; no one forces the other to treat them to drinks or snacks. Store 1 is like that. Actually, Store 1 has good people, many neutral employees. The arrogant male employees are only a small part, but because the management team is bad, all the bad ones are the worst, so these arrogant male employees are the ones who rise, and the neutral employees bow their heads. Due to this toxic atmosphere, by February, I learned that even those male employees couldn’t stand it and resigned. During the two months I was there, six people left. Now, almost after the New Year, only the management team remains, and no one else is left in any position. From these experiences, I learned the importance of leadership and that real men and women in life are not like what romance novels depict. At Store 2, I became much more positive. I quickly learned how to report dishes, promote dishes, pay, clear tables, and attract customers. I did these well—got praise from customers, from staff at nearby stores, and even a customer specifically came to commend my service attitude to the store manager. This gave me some confidence—that I can do things well and beautifully, and I can succeed. That’s all for now, there are some other changes.
Because in recent days the ideological struggle has become more intense, I have sorted out some of my thoughts about female lust. My thoughts have improved a bit, so I want to post on the forum to talk about my situation, striving to make further progress and fight a bit more against my thoughts of female lust.